The Need for Affirmation

At some point, everyone needs to be told that they are doing a good job. When we think of affirmation, our minds most often go to our work in our chosen profession and the need for positive reinforcement from our superiors. While such affirmations are desirable, I have found this week that affirmation from our peers as well as those who are under our authority can sometimes be even more rewarding.

Earlier this week, I shared a meal with a friend who serves tirelessly in my local church. They are consistently willing to do anything that is asked of them. What I did not realize was that they were feeling that their work really was not making a significant impact on our church family. What a pleasure it was to share with them the impact that I saw their actions making. As we talked, I noticed that their eyes gleamed with tears as they were given this unsolicited feedback on a job well-done. Were they working in order to receive accolades? Certainly not. Now that they know someone has noticed their efforts and has affirmed that they are making a difference, I have seen their attitude change. I expect that it will be easier for them to choose to take on new responsibilities when asked in the future. Everyone wants to know that they are making a difference!

This week, I was affirmed in an unexpected way. Before my music appreciation classes began, one of my students commented on how annoyed she became by her fellow students who consistently asked questions that had just been answered in lecture. She proceeded to express that she was certain that it had to be frustrating to me as well. However, according to her, I display grace and patience in these situations with my students. The affirming student may never fully understand how powerful her words were. After a rough and restless night, I was not feeling graceful or patient on that morning. Her kind affirmation reminded me that there are those I serve daily who appreciate my efforts. I gathered my strength, refocused my thoughts, and had a wonderful day with my students – all because she took the chance to speak positively into the life of another person.

My blogging has also been affected by receiving affirmation. I don't have many followers on my blog, so I thought that very few people were actually reading my posts and that they were essentially only for my personal benefit and enjoyment. Then I heard from a friend how much she enjoyed reading my writing and missed them when I didn't post. Talk about a boost to the ego! I know I'm not writing the Great American Novel, but knowing that someone is reading my posts is certainly an encouragement to always give my best effort.

Think of a time that you received some much needed affirmation. Remember how good it felt to get that unsolicited praise? Do you recall how your productivity sky-rocketed? Recollect how your energy for your task was renewed as a result of the positive feedback. Share that gift with someone this week. Make note of the effort they are making in some area and send them an email or card – or give them a call – and let them know that you appreciate all they are doing! Sit back and notice the impact your affirmation makes. Not only will their efforts continue, but you will see them serving with a new level of confidence and joy. You'll feel pretty good about yourself, too, knowing that your words impacted someone in such a significant way. Give it a try today…you'll be glad you did!