Stressed Out!

Life can be stressful sometimes. Issues pile up, we find ourselves completely unable to change things, and our head feels as though it could explode at any moment. A family member faces illness, problems occur at work, and nothing seems to be going right. Those we love turn into cranky monsters and people that should be helping are nowhere to be found. You feel powerless, deserted, and hopeless. Your stress level has reached it peak and you simply have to find ways to cope.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? While we all experience stress daily, these situations are not as common for most of us. We are totally "stressed out" and can't fathom having to add anything else to our already overloaded plates. As I write this post, I am coming down from the heights of being stressed out. While the experience is so fresh, I want to document some things I'm learning and want to make sure I remember the next time I'm "stressed out."

• No one is intentionally adding to your stress. In most cases, the people we interact with know very little of what's going on in the other areas of your life. They aren't getting the full picture of what you're dealing with in that moment. It's important to take their cliched "just relax" comments with a grain of salt. Adding anger to the equation is only going to result in an explosive situation.
• However, it is important to be honest with others. When a co-worker attempts to calm you with promises of a solution, it is perfectly acceptable to truthfully and rationally express your doubt and concerns.
• Speak frankly with those who can offer support. Your supervisor wants you to perform at maximum capacity and knows you cannot do so if you are overwhelmed. After calming a bit, feel free to communicate your frustrations with your superior, outlining the steps you have taken to solve the problem to this point. By writing it out, you may see the solution yourself. If no solution is clear, ask for advice or support. Remember that your boss only looks good when you look good.
• Accept situations beyond your control. While dealing with one of my major stresses at the moment, I learned that Dad unexpectedly needed to go to the doctor to have some blood work  done in preparation for an upcoming procedure. My initial response was not good; my day was further interrupted and something else had now landed in my lap. Somehow, sanity prevailed and I just took a deep breath. This issue had to have my immediate attention, so I just began to reschedule things. While my stress level wasn't immediately lowered, at least it wasn't going higher because of the unavoidable interruption.
• Recognize the power of release. I had held things together (and held my tongue for the most part) while I was in public. Once I was alone in my room, I knew a release was necessary and I allowed myself the opportunity to let it go. Some people may need to throw a ball against the wall for release. Others may cry. Still others need to scream at the top of their lungs! The manner of the release is not the focus; it is simply important to let the emotions escape.
• Pull away and recharge! I find that one of the most powerful tools I have in managing stress is to just be quiet and take care of myself. Whether you take a quiet walk or just climb into a nest of pillows, find a way to slow your pace and prepare to battle the stress tomorrow. Don't set a time limit for your escape either. If 45 minutes is enough, that's great! But give yourself permission to recharge until the next sunrise if necessary.
• Slowly return to your work. Rather than diving into the deepest areas of stress, gently reintroduce yourself to the tasks at hand. I find it's helpful to mark off a few of the easy items on my to-do list first. Often the momentum of accomplishment carries over into more challenging tasks.
• Accept offers to help. When people see our stress, they want to help if they can. Normally you also know whose offer is sincere and competent. Accept those offers when possible and get that task off of your plate so you can focus on another aspect of the job.