Summer Reading Project

Summer is a relaxing down-time for me. My performance calendar is less active and I get to have a much more relaxed practice routine. That means that I have more time to devote to one of my favorite activities - reading.

I've found that summer is the perfect time for me to begin reading larger novels that I have avoided during the school year. Part of the problem is that the books are so long. Often times they are classic works and require more brain cells than I can spare while teaching. I enjoy approaching these works during the summer months because I find it easy to escape into the setting of the novel without worrying that I am neglecting other responsibilities.

Some of my past adventures have been some of my favorite reading adventures. Last summer, I finally got around to reading Jude the Obscure as well as beginning the Harry Potter series. The summer before was the beginning of my reading of Ken Follett's Century Trilogy. Summer was also the time for great sagas like Gone with the Wind as well as modern beach reads.

So what do I have in mind for this year? I'm going back to the classics and reading Middlemarch by George Eliot. I first encountered Eliot in my undergraduate survey class with The Mill on the Floss and fell in love with her style. Middlemarch has always intimidated me because of its reputation and its massive size. I picked up a copy of the novel just before finals began and spent some time getting started last weekend. Now that finals are over and the lazy days of summer are about to begin, I think it's time to dive back in.

Now, where did I put that book? It's time to get in some reading.

Stressed Out!

Life can be stressful sometimes. Issues pile up, we find ourselves completely unable to change things, and our head feels as though it could explode at any moment. A family member faces illness, problems occur at work, and nothing seems to be going right. Those we love turn into cranky monsters and people that should be helping are nowhere to be found. You feel powerless, deserted, and hopeless. Your stress level has reached it peak and you simply have to find ways to cope.

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? While we all experience stress daily, these situations are not as common for most of us. We are totally "stressed out" and can't fathom having to add anything else to our already overloaded plates. As I write this post, I am coming down from the heights of being stressed out. While the experience is so fresh, I want to document some things I'm learning and want to make sure I remember the next time I'm "stressed out."

• No one is intentionally adding to your stress. In most cases, the people we interact with know very little of what's going on in the other areas of your life. They aren't getting the full picture of what you're dealing with in that moment. It's important to take their cliched "just relax" comments with a grain of salt. Adding anger to the equation is only going to result in an explosive situation.
• However, it is important to be honest with others. When a co-worker attempts to calm you with promises of a solution, it is perfectly acceptable to truthfully and rationally express your doubt and concerns.
• Speak frankly with those who can offer support. Your supervisor wants you to perform at maximum capacity and knows you cannot do so if you are overwhelmed. After calming a bit, feel free to communicate your frustrations with your superior, outlining the steps you have taken to solve the problem to this point. By writing it out, you may see the solution yourself. If no solution is clear, ask for advice or support. Remember that your boss only looks good when you look good.
• Accept situations beyond your control. While dealing with one of my major stresses at the moment, I learned that Dad unexpectedly needed to go to the doctor to have some blood work  done in preparation for an upcoming procedure. My initial response was not good; my day was further interrupted and something else had now landed in my lap. Somehow, sanity prevailed and I just took a deep breath. This issue had to have my immediate attention, so I just began to reschedule things. While my stress level wasn't immediately lowered, at least it wasn't going higher because of the unavoidable interruption.
• Recognize the power of release. I had held things together (and held my tongue for the most part) while I was in public. Once I was alone in my room, I knew a release was necessary and I allowed myself the opportunity to let it go. Some people may need to throw a ball against the wall for release. Others may cry. Still others need to scream at the top of their lungs! The manner of the release is not the focus; it is simply important to let the emotions escape.
• Pull away and recharge! I find that one of the most powerful tools I have in managing stress is to just be quiet and take care of myself. Whether you take a quiet walk or just climb into a nest of pillows, find a way to slow your pace and prepare to battle the stress tomorrow. Don't set a time limit for your escape either. If 45 minutes is enough, that's great! But give yourself permission to recharge until the next sunrise if necessary.
• Slowly return to your work. Rather than diving into the deepest areas of stress, gently reintroduce yourself to the tasks at hand. I find it's helpful to mark off a few of the easy items on my to-do list first. Often the momentum of accomplishment carries over into more challenging tasks.
• Accept offers to help. When people see our stress, they want to help if they can. Normally you also know whose offer is sincere and competent. Accept those offers when possible and get that task off of your plate so you can focus on another aspect of the job.

Time to Get Rid of the Noise

The weekend is coming and I am looking forward to relaxing a bit. My parents have also had a busy week; relaxation is on their agendas as well. Our definitions of "relaxing" vary greatly though.

My dad will plop down into a leather recliner with the clicker balanced on the wooden arm. Once he turns on the television Saturday morning, the square monster will continue to blare until he retires for the night. Mom will probably busy herself with various household chores that were left undone before gliding into the cushiony softness of the couch. While television is extremely entertaining (a glance at my calendar will reveal my prime time favorites), the noise that it brings is not always relaxing. Sometimes I really just want to shut the box off and escape the chattering of the talking heads. I just want to turn the TV off for a while.

For many in our society, silence and solitude is uncomfortable. When there is nothing outside of ourselves to hear, we actually begin to listen to our inner voice. That's when we begin to hear gentle words of encouragement, reproof, direction, and challenge. When the noise is removed, our mind has to become our source of information and entertainment. We no longer are led aimlessly by an immoral society.

I'm not saying that television is evil. I just think that it holds too much sway in American culture. What would happen if we silenced the boob tube for a few hours each day and listened carefully? Our families would be strengthened as relationships were rekindled through conversation. Imagination and knowledge would regain the prized positions they held in prior generations. We would reconnect with the Spirit, growing in faith and love. 

I think it's time to begin controlling the talking box rather than being controlled by it. It's time to eliminate some of the noise and start to really listen. You just might be surprised by what you begin to hear!

The Art of Carroll Cloar

A few weeks ago, I made my first visit to the Memphis Brooks Museum of Art. I was less than thrilled with what I saw of the permanent collection and immediately thought there was a reason that I had never visited this museum. Since I had paid the admission fee (a very reasonable $7), I decided that I needed to at least check out the featured exhibit of the summer. I'm very glad that I did!

"The Crossroads of Memory: Carroll Cloar and the American South" will be on exhibit in Memphis through September 12, 2013. Cloar (1913-1993) was a native Arkansan who grew up in the rural farmlands of the state. Much of his work depicts the images he encountered while traveling throughout the state and working the land. Cloar studied English at Rhodes College in Memphis before heading to New York City to pursue a career as an artist. In his final years, Cloar returned to Memphis.

I'm not an art critic by any stretch of the imagination, but I know what I like. Cloar's paintings are filled with color and amazing technique. I found it interesting that his style morphed throughout his life, embracing the various art movements as they made their mark on the American landscape. Not only are Cloar's works beautiful, they also speak of the struggles faced in the American South.

One of the first techniques that caught my eye and amazed me was Cloar's ability to create ghost-like figures (which he will also use to portray reflections in water) in the midst of the scene. I don't recall the title of the painting that astounded me as I entered the gallery, but I can certainly describe it. The scene is of a train station in Eureka Springs, Arkansas that Cloar had encountered while traveling. In addition to the waiting passengers, ghosts of those who had travelled in earlier trips are also present. I loved the idea that our presence leaves a lasting mark on our environment and those we encounter.

The technique described above can also be seen in one of my favorite paintings in the exhibit: Charlie Mae Practicing for the Baptizing. Charlie Mae was a African-American girl that Cloar befriended in his childhood and she became a recurring subject in many of his pieces. In addition to the beautiful purples and greens along the river's bank, I loved the faint reflection of the scene in the murky waters of the river.

Charlie Mae Practicing for the Baptizing, Carroll Cloar

To fully appreciate the significance of Charlie Mae's presence in Cloar's work, it is important to know that Cloar was a white man. Growing up in the country, friends were a luxury; the color of their skin was not of primary concern to children. Throughout Cloar's career, he provided commentary on race relations in the American South, featuring both whites and blacks in his images; rarely did Cloar include people of both races in a single painting though.

The other painting that made a lasting impression on me was Halloween. In the foreground, a child is seen wearing a mask and carrying a jack-o-lantern through the autumn grass. Her joy and innocence is a direct contrast to the adult men wearing white hooded robes in the painting's upper right who are leaving the home to reek havoc on the black community. The contrast between youth and adulthood in the piece is stark and speaks volumes.

Halloween, Carroll Cloar

Whether you are a fan of museums or not, if you are in the metro Memphis area, do yourself a favor and check out this fascinating exhibit before it leaves. Wear a pair of comfortable shoes, leave your driver's license at the front desk to get the audio tour of the exhibit, and allow your mind to be swept away into the world of Carroll Cloar. I'm looking forward to returning to the exhibit to learn more about this fascinating man and his work.

The Memphis Brooks Museum of Art is located in Overton Park. Visit their website at www.brooksmuseum.org for hours and additional information.

P.S.   I plan to enjoy the rest of this week with my family as we celebrate our nation's independence. Livin' Life will return to its regular schedule on Monday, July 8.

Getting the Rest You Need

We all know that rest is important, but we sometimes find it difficult to insure that it happens in our personal life. I'm still learning how to make Sabbath rest a part of my routine, but here are some things that are proving helpful at the moment. Take these suggestions for what their worth....

• Schedule, Schedule, Schedule. The more carefully I plan what needs to happen each day, the less time I waste. The less time I waste, the more I accomplish. The more I accomplish, the easier it becomes to have a day devoted to rest each week

• Write it down. I have always prided myself on having a wonderful memory and rarely having to write things down. What I'm discovering is that the physical process of writing things down purges them from my mind and provides the comfort that important things will not be forgotten. My mind can slow down...and that brings rest to my body.

• Establish a Sleep Routine. Knowing that I'm rising at the same time each morning and going to bed consistently each night puts my body into a routine. It also allows for consistently knowing when my most productive periods of the day will occur. That is a positive in so many ways!

• Exercise. Have I completely fallen off of my rocker? Does the physical exertion of exercise seriously help us to get rest? Definitely! By regularly participating in some physical activity, the body relieves stress naturally and is ready to rest fully each night. Taking care of the body helps to take care of the mind as well.

• Feed your Soul. I cannot emphasize this aspect enough. It is absolutely imperative that you set aside time each day to care for your inner man. Include it in your schedule just as you would any other appointment and protect it at all costs! You decide what activity is most beneficial for you -- study, prayer, worship, meditation -- and make sure that you do AT LEAST that one thing each day. As we allow our souls to connect with the Creator daily, we will find that we are refreshed and able to be productive because of His blessing.

• Relax. You know when your body has reached its limit. In those moments, give yourself permission to relax. Your optimal work time may not fit with everyone else. That's okay! While you still have to function, as long as you are having productive periods throughout the day, you'll get it done. 

• Reward Yourself. I plan personal activities that I enjoy at the end of each day. When I have completed the tasks on my list, I get to enjoy something special. This allows me to look forward to finishing the day's responsibilities and gives me an extra push of energy. Additionally, set aside time for larger rewards after a particularly busy season. This might include a mini-vacation or a "stay-cation."

When I include these steps in my routine, I find that I can get most of my duties done in six days and truly enjoy a seventh day of rest each week. It's what God has ordained for our bodies and provides the needed energy to tackle the challenges that the following week will bring.

On Friday, I'll share with you a little about my most recent "stay-cation." It's actually much easier than you might think and worth the effort.

What tips would you add to my list to help get everything done in order to have a day devoted to rest and rejuvenation?

I Resolve....

Now that we are a week into 2013, I'm finally ready to commit to my resolutions for the year. I guess I had to take things slowly and thoughtfully since making a public announcement makes me more accountable.  Some of these will be observable by everyone who knows me; the accomplishment of others will be things that only God and I will know.  Here's goes nothing......

1. Increase my personal reading.  Some of you are probably aware that I maintain another blog, Reading for Me, that details my path towards recapturing reading for personal fulfillment and pleasure.  The ultimate goal is to read 52 books in a single calendar year.  2012 saw the greatest number of books in a single year with 32.  My goal is to read at least 33 books in 2013.....but hopefully more!  The most difficult time of year to maintain my reading is when school is in session. Although I love the sensation of holding a book in hand, I am attempting to use my iPad as my primary reading device.  I hope this will enable me to continue reading even when I only have a few moments to spare throughout the day.
2. Lose 20 pounds.  This goal has caused me the most difficulty.  I want to set a goal that is achievable, but not too easy either.  In the summer of 2012, I began working with a personal trainer. With all of the ups and downs that the year brought, I have netted a total weight loss of 8 pounds.  Diet is a struggle when I'm on the road.....and keeping a consistent workout regiment is tough when I'm not at home.  To help with this process, I moved my gym membership today to Anytime Fitness;  Anytime also has a facility in Jackson, Tennessee.  Now I just have to get my mind in gear to workout when I'm working away from home.  You can follow my progress in my weight loss journey on my most sporadically published blog Just Have to Start Somewhere.
3. Write on a more regular basis.  Seeing that I have four blogs, it should be clear to most people that I enjoy writing. I don't necessarily think I have anything of tremendous value to share....it's just therapeutic to put my thoughts down and share with anyone that actually wants to read. Like my personal reading, I've struggled with maintaining a regular schedule when school is in session. I think I was trying to publish too regularly.  So I've changed my approach and am hoping for good things.  I intend to publish posts on Reading for Me and Just Have to Start Somewhere when needed....no regular schedule there.  This blog is the oldest of them all and the one that I think I owe the most writing to.....so I hope to write here 2 or 3 times each week.  I'm shooting for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  My professional blog is Collaborations and was dormant for much of 2012.  My goal is to have a new post on Thursday of each week.  You can be part of my success in this endeavor; your comments on the blog site reminds me that other people are reading them which motivates me to carry on.
4. Schedule times of rest.  Most workers look forward to the weekend.  It's a couple of days to rest and revive their energy for the challenges that lie in the week ahead.  Since I'm piecing together several part-time jobs to make a living, my schedule rarely works out where I have entire days without any work.  I'm sensing the beginnings of burn-out and fatigue in my personal life and feel directed by God to correct the constant work-mode that I have maintained in the past year. Since taking a "Sabbath" day is not possible at this time, my goal is to allow myself to divide the "Sabbath" up throughout the week, finding chunks of time during the week that I can block out for rest and relaxation.  Since school hasn't started, finding these days of rest has been easy so far.  (I'm actually enjoying one today!)  Once the semester kicks off next year, I'll be looking for 8 hours (at least) each week to devote to me.  Given my mindset and work ethic, I know this will be a challenge for me.  I am committed to making it a priority, however.
5. Spiritual growth.  This will be the resolution that I will keep most private for obvious reasons. I am not satisfied with my spiritual condition and I don't think that any growing Christian should ever be satisfied! As such, there are several things that God has placed on my heart to develop me into the man He has designed me to be. I'll be pursuing these quietly behind the scenes and I pray that they will display themselves in my life so others can see the light and love of my Savior.  I would appreciate your prayers throughout the year as I pursue a more intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father in the coming year.

That is what's motivating me as I step into the early days of 2013.  Now it's time to get going and see how I can make these resolutions reality!

Book Clubs

Today was filled with lots of activity and appointments that simply had to be kept. Since I knew the day was going to be crazy, I got an early start, knowing that I needed to knock a few things off my to-do list before leaving the house for the morning. I decided I needed some incentive to get things done, so I made a deal with myself. Once I finished the first three things on my list, I could spend the rest of the morning reading until I had to leave. I didn't even get to pick up a book. That made me very sad.....

And my sadness grew as I heard a radio announcer wishing everyone "Happy Read a Book Day" (honestly....it's celebrated on September 6). On September 8, we'll also celebrate International Literacy Day. I have been desperate to dive into a book all day long, but didn't have the time to spare. I have been thinking about how much I love books and how I desperately desire to be a part of a book club.

One of the primary reasons that I have been a student for so long is that I really enjoy getting to interact with books. It's not just reading the book that is so enthralling though. I love the conversation that ensues when a group of people come together and bring their various experiences and opinions to the table as they consider the implications of the written word. I couldn't imagine not having time to read while I was in my undergraduate program. So what did I do? I declared a second major in English literature. I knew I wasn't the best student in the program, but I knew that I was passionate about the material.

The social activity I would most enjoy participating in on a regular basis would be a reading group. I've had no luck finding one though. I've joined groups at the local library and area bookstores, but have always been disappointed because the members either didn't commit to participate regularly or the group only dove into a single genre of literature. When I participated in an office reading group, things never got off the ground. We tried to meet during our lunch break, but the demands of work kept calling us back. We were all too exhausted to consider committing to an additional night during the week.

Some have suggested that I start my own reading group. I'll admit that I have tried, but it still didn't provide what I was looking for. A church book club limited material that could be included due to language and topics that might offend some members. A group of performing artists is a rehearsal (read social party) waiting to happen....and there was little discussion of the material read.

Oprah's Book Club was the closest thing I've ever found. I enjoyed the wide variety of books selected and appreciated the passionate discussion that would normally occur. I missed the human interaction and building relationships though. Oprah has now reorganized her book club as version 2.0 which all occurs online. Everyone has the opportunity to communicate via Twitter and other social media, but the intimacy is lost.

I was intrigued by one of Oprah's latest suggestions for starting a book club. She suggested reading as a family and discussing the book as part of your family get-togethers. I see how this could be really fun in many families. Probably won't work for my situation though....while many in my family enjoy reading (and others do it just to keep their brain active), we're not reading for insight as much as we are for the entertainment value. There's only so much I can say about why I enjoyed a book without wanting to consider the moral, political, and philosophical implications.

So what is it that I'm really looking for? Ideally, I would find a group of 8-12 other readers who come from different backgrounds, professions, spiritual journeys, and education levels. I envision men and women who share a love for reading, a desire to think deeply about issues, and a willingness to listen and speak honestly without constantly being offended when/if they disagree. I don't want to be forced to be politically correct....especially if my opinions are not PC! We might share food together....but the focus is really on the book.

And, oh the books!  How wonderful would it be to read a self-help book followed by the latest best-seller. Then we dive into the heart of a classic American novel. Throw in a little philosophical writing and maybe even some religious (possibly non-Christian?) texts and you have a recipe for exciting and intellectually invigorating conversation.

If any of you have suggestions about where I can find a book club in the area, I'd love to hear from you! Until I find what I'm looking for, I'll keep dreaming about the day I'm able to participate on a regular basis and keep reading for my own pleasure and intellectual stimulation.  Now I suppose it's time I give in and spend some quiet time with my book.  Scarlett and Rhett, I'm coming to Tara for a visit now!

Offended....Without Reason!

When was the last time that you were truly upset with someone?  For whatever reason, they had hurt your feelings and you were deeply offended.  Now, when was the last time you had became offended without anyone saying a word?  Sadly, I must admit that the latter statement would be a fairly accurate depiction of much of my day today.

I had a day off from teaching, so I decided to hang around the house and get some things done so I could have some free time tomorrow.  Of course, I wanted free time today too and became upset with other people.  If THEY would bother to do some more of this stuff, I wouldn't have to work so hard.  I decided I was going to show THEM and just take a break.  So I headed to the donut shop -- a sure fix for whatever ails you -- and became irritated with the people gathered there.  What were they doing?  They were laughing and talking FAR TOO LOUDLY!  How dare they enjoy the donut shop?  I was there to get a box of donuts and did not want to be disturbed!

Once I finally get home, I begin to think about people who haven't said anything to me in months -- in some cases, years -- and how completely rude they were in their THOUGHTS of what I should or should not do.  Finally, a light bulb went off in my brain and I realized how utterly STUPID I was being about all of this.  No one had done anything wrong to me today.  I went to a favorite chair alone and, after repenting for my bad attitude today, began to ponder what had brought on this horrible scenario.  I finally came to a conclusion that I would like to share with you.

First things first -- offenses will happen!  Having your feelings hurt is just part of life and will happen to all of us.  While I can't control that, I CAN control my response to the hurt.  There was something else at play today, though.  I was upset with people who were not present and who had done nothing to me.  This is not the first time this has happened, so I began to think back to the other times as well and discovered a common denominator -- tiredness.  When I get extremely tired, my tolerance for other people is very low and it is easy for me to have my feelings hurt.  This reminded me of a principle I have struggled with all my life: the principle of Sabbath.

In the book of Exodus, God set up the Sabbath as a day of rest and worship for His people.  God recognizes the importance of rest in the lives of His creation.  Why do you think God rested on the seventh day of creation?  He was modeling for us the importance of resting from our labor.  Intellectually, I know this. The problem is in the application.

Because of my chosen profession, I have constantly fought an internal battle about appearing busy.  I have been told by various people throughout my life that I don't get a "real" job because I'm lazy and want to have an easy life.  These individuals know very little about what I actually do as a musician and have no concept of the hours of work -- physically, emotionally, and mentally -- that are required at this level of my profession.  In an effort to make sure everyone realizes how hard I work, I work myself past the point of productivity.  Often, I will go for months at a time without truly taking a day of rest from my work.  Normally, the only way I am able to make myself rest is by leaving town.  It's not because my employers don't allow me to have days off;  it's because I don't allow myself the luxury of a day of rest.

So what am I going to do with this new insight I have gained today?  I'm going to strive to take days of rest away from the stresses of work, music, and relationships.  I love what I do and the people I know, but I need to have time for me to maintain a healthy balance.  Because of the many part-time jobs I hold, my day of rest may be more irregular than others.  People may think that I am being lazy.  While that is tough for me to deal with, I know the work that I am doing and how my body is responding at that moment.  So, no more worries about what other people think.......I'm taking the day off.

Lazy Days of Summer

It's the beginning of June and I'm looking forward to having some relaxing times this summer.  I'm just wondering when it will actually begin?  Most mornings are spent in the Learning Success Center tutoring students, although there seems to be very few students enrolled this semester.  Since I'm not doing a lot of editing of papers at this point, I have the luxury of writing a short blog entry!  Immediately after my tutoring hours, I will head to the classroom to teach 8 students the joy of classical music. 

I guess I'm just wondering where the lazy days of summer went and hoping I can get them back.  Remember sitting around the house as a child, planning your activities for the day?  When the decision was between a long nap, a quiet bike ride, or a good book under a favorite shade tree, life seemed much simpler and relaxing.  I suppose that is part of childhood that is lost as we mature and begin to take on increased responsibilities.  I don't want to return to childhood entirely, but a day or two here and there without the commitments would be a welcome change.

I'm planning to incorporate a few lazy days into my life in the upcoming summer months.  A day trip to an area park and a visit to the zoo are on my agenda for sure.  What activities do you recommend when you have a free day and are looking for some relaxing fun?

The Unofficial Start of Summer is Here!

Hope you have all had a great Memorial Day with family and friends.  If you're like me at all, you have had too much to eat, laughed a bit too loudly, and began making plans for the summer ahead.  What kind of relaxing plans are you making?

I love to travel, but with gas prices right now being so high, I don't foresee being able to hit the road as often as I have in years past.  That just means I will have to travel in a different way -- through reading.  Summer is always a welcome respite from my sometimes crazy life when I can find a little more time to read books simply for the fun of it.  This year, it seems as though the insanity is going to be around a little longer than normal.  I am having to think of new ways to get in all the books I want to read this summer.

That's where audio books come in.  I know, I know -- those are the books that grandparents "read" as they fall asleep in their rocking chair in the retirement home.  Of course there is another commonly held description for these recordings as well -- BORING!  I have held these same views for some time as well, but when I finally gave recorded books a try, I was pleasantly surprised. 

During my recent travels to Oklahoma, I decided to take in a couple of books to help the time pass a little more swiftly.  Over the course of the 10 hour journey, I completed two novels and walked away thoroughly entertained.  When I began to think of the amount of time I spend in my car already, I realized that I wasn't using that time as wisely as possible.  Rather than listening to talk radio incessantly, I have decided to catch up on some reading while driving by using audio books.

What am I listening to?  Nothing too heavy or that requires too much brain power from me.  When I read books of that nature, I generally like to have a pen in hand with minimal distractions.  What I'm "reading" in the car is what would typically be classified as "beach reads."  Where do I find the CDs?  Many libraries have wonderful selections of audio books that are relatively inexpensive to their patrons.  My local library does not have such offerings, so I am relying on Cracker Barrel.  It's a bit expensive for the first book since you basically purchase the CD set, but becomes more cost effective as you continue.  You are charged a weekly fee for the CDs; the rest of your deposit is returned when you return the recordings or can be applied to your next book rental.  Be prepared.....many of the Cracker Barrel employees rarely rent the audio books to patrons, so you can expect the transaction to be a little more time consuming than normal as they will probably need to ask for a manager. 

Enjoy the beginning of your summer!  I'm off to do a little reading now.

Looking for an Outlet

Last night, I got to sit around and just have a quiet conversation for the first time in a very long time.  It was quite overdue.  The conversation began with the typical discussion of my involvement in music and church.  Following a mild lull, I was asked what else I enjoyed doing.  When I had to pause and admit that I couldn't come up with much else I felt rather disturbed.  Is my life truly consumed with only my work and nothing else?  What do I do in order to find relaxation?

When pressed, I can come up with standard answers -- I read, watch television and go to the movies when I have a chance -- but the truth is that they don't really relax me.  Generally my reading is in preparation for a lecture or performance.  I rarely have the opportunity to take 3 hours away to go to a movie theater and I watch television when I'm crawling in bed late at night.  Don't misunderstand -- I love the fact that I am busy in my career and love the multi-faceted aspects of my musical life -- but I also know that I have to have some down time to renew myself.

So today, I finished up my last rehearsal of the week and set out for an evening of relaxation.  Rather than stressing out over trying to come up with a plan, I went with the tried and true technique of going to the Paradiso and saw "Lincoln Lawyer."  The movie was not what I was anticipating it would be from the trailers, but I really had a fun time with it.  Then I went to have dinner at Ciao Bella.  The chicken piccata was perfect -- light and savory.  Now I'm sitting at home and have put all the papers, application packets, and practicing aside for the night and plan to just catch my breath. 

What do you do when you need to recharge from a busy time?  What's your favorite outlet to plug into?  Share your tips......I may just steal a few of them and give them a try myself.

The Return to {Relative} Normalcy

It feels as though it has been an eternity since I have been able to post anything here.  After a long departure, it's good to be back.  Why so little writing, you ask?  There have simply not been enough hours in the day for the past month.  I found myself burning the proverbial candle at both ends.....and was frantically looking for a third wick extending from the middle to keep everything afloat.

This weekend saw the closing of Germantown High School's production of The Secret Garden.  The experience was wonderful.  The colleagues I met will be invaluable.  The creative process was incredibly rewarding.  The physical demands combined with the normal strains of my life were exhausting.  I'm looking forward to some much needed recuperation in the coming weeks.

Ideally, I want to take it easy this week and let me body and mind recover.  The reality of the situation is that I have put other things on the back burner to survive the rehearsal schedule of The Secret Garden that I have to get back to those tasks in order to keep them from becoming overly urgent sources of stress.  But, for a few days at least, I'm going to be productive and accomplish a few tasks at a much more leisurely pace than I have been moving recently.

On Friday, Spring Break begins here at the college.  I'm leaving my last class and heading to the airport for a brief trip to Los Angeles.  Why am I going?  Officially, I'm meeting with a performer to discuss a possible engagement later in the fall.  Truthfully, that could have been done over the phone.  I need to get away, enjoy the beauty of a place I dearly love and visit with some friends that I miss tremendously and have been neglecting for the past few months.  I'm also looking forward to participating in an annual tradition at my Alma Mater.  I'll only be away for 5 days, but I am looking forward to it more than you can imagine.

And just like that.....I'm back in the mode of writing. Can you believe I was worried that I would have anything to say to you today?  I suppose it really is like riding a bike......

Back to Reality

For the past 3 days, I have enjoyed a mini-vacation before things get cranked up again for the Spring semester.  I decided -- very intentionally -- to return to Branson, Missouri and must admit that it has been a wonderful (although slightly unusual) time of recuperation.

January in Branson is a down time.  All of the theaters are closed;  traffic is non-existent.  Once I arrived, interested people asked why I would choose to come to Branson in this season.  I don't know if I can fully explain it, but it has a lot to do with my psyche.  Since much of my life involves performance -- whether as a pianist, teacher, or church musician -- the sight of empty theaters subconsciously reminded me that there was nothing pressing that I needed to prepare immediately.  It was wonderful to not take in a show that might ignite my creativity.  When I went to the bookstore, I saw lots of recordings of pieces I am beginning to learn, but I determined not to purchase them since I wanted to insure that I had a few days away from the work.

What did I do, you ask?  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  I checked out a few shops and bookstores, but mostly I read, watched television, and cross-stitched.  I checked my email via my phone, but I didn't accept any phone calls -- that is until my mother decided to call.  I was gracious (I think), but also make it clear that I really was not interested in talking.  I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I get home exactly how that went over.

Food is normally at the center of my trips and this one was no exception.  I had lunch on Thursday at Lambert's just outside of Springfield.  It isn't a restaurant to which I would generally be drawn, but I decided to go just to say that I had.  The food wasn't bad; the atmosphere was nice.  Even though I was born in the South in a fairly rural area, I'm just not a country boy at heart.  In contrast, dinner this evening was A-MA-ZING!  The front desk of the hotel recommended Florentina's Italian Restaurant here in Branson.  Having just opened in the spring, not many people know about the place that is currently a treasure for the locals.  That will change in the very near future, I suspect!  The food was amazing and the service was impeccable.  Priced a little on the expensive side, but well worth the investment in my opinion.

Now I'm just going to enjoy the rest of my evening here in the hotel and pack my things in preparation for the drive home tomorrow.  I'm not really ready to return to reality, but I know that there are things that I must take care of next week.  Now that I've had a few days of uninterrupted rest, I feel that I'm ready to put my nose back to the plow for a few more weeks....and things are going to be VERY busy for me until late March.  I'll be telling you more about THAT next week as all the details are finalized.

Looking for Laughter

When's the last time you enjoyed a side-splitting case of laughter?  I'm not talking about a chuckle of amusement or a school girl giggle.  What I'm referring to is uncontainable, rolling laughter rising from the depths of your being.  For far too many of us, I fear that it's been long overdue.

Laughter releases tension from the body.  It often comes when we accept the fact that we have taken ourselves too seriously.  Laughing is a sure sign of joyfulness and is highly contagious.  Quite simply, laughter makes us feel good.

Since it's such a pleasant experience, why do we sometimes permit ourselves to go so long without experiencing it?  We become obsessed with the demands of our lives, never feeling as though it is permissible to simply let our hair down, relax, and give over to the joyful sound of a hearty guffaw.

It's been too long since I've enjoyed a laugh -- more than just a passing moment's snicker -- but a laugh that encompasses my entire being.  Tomorrow I will conduct an in-depth search in pursuit of this missing element.  I am confident that I will find it because I will seek it out with impassioned determination.  I will rediscover laughter and I will be the better for its return to my life just in the nick of time.

Reader’s Block

Do you find yourself experiencing difficulty from time to time doing tasks that you know are beneficial to you? I am in one of those periods now, but it's been dragging on a bit longer than I would like. The issue is what I lovingly call "reader's block." Like writer's block, it is the inability to complete any reading task that I begin. It's frustrating for a number of reasons. First – and most importantly – I honestly love to read. There have been very few times since graduating from high school that I have not had my nose in a book. I believe that reading stretches the mind, introduces you to new ideas, and entertains the imagination. I have made efforts to pass my love for reading to those dearest to me in my family; thankfully, I can count four others (Mom, Patsy, Jacqs, and Kristian) that share the reading bug with me.

When I am actively reading, I will normally complete a novel in about 5 days. Sadly, things are not at that place at the moment and haven't been for some time. Summer is normally a season of incredible reading and enjoyment. This year, I have only read 3 books since July 1; the last of them was completed on August 2. (Yes, I can be very detailed about these dates. I set a reading goal for myself each year as part of my New Year's resolutions and keep a list of the works I read. You'll probably see a complete list of my readings at the end of the year here on the blog.)

It's disturbing to me that I haven't finished a book in over a month. It's not that I haven't tried. Actually, I have started four separate books since that time, but nothing is able to grab my attention. I've gone into non-fiction, inspiration, and beach reads….nothing works. I know that the last month has been stressful for me; that's part of the reason I am so upset that I'm not reading! Reading a good book transports me to a different place where someone else's problems become the focus of my thoughts rather than the reality of my own life. In a way, I guess you can call it an escapist tendency.

What do you do when you find yourself wanting to complete a task, knowing that it will be beneficial to you, but still can't find the motivation to complete it? I'm getting so desperate at the moment that I may even try to read *gasp* science fiction!

For now, I'm going to watch a little television, get ready for tonight's recital, and hopefully find a new book to start that might bring this reading drought to an end.

Resting from Labor

I trust that you all had a very enjoyable Labor Day surrounded by friends, family, and food.  In the midst of a very busy time, the holiday was the perfect break for me.

Whenever my family gets together, you can rest assured that there will be food -- and lots of it!  During the summer months, Dad is often found outside, grilling all types of treats.  Yesterday's menu featured steak and chicken along with various sausages.  To complete the table, Mom added twice-baked potatoes, rolls, and a Heath Bar cake.  Our refrigerator is stocked to capacity with all the leftovers.

In an unexpected turn of events, I found myself with limited mobility due to some problems with my back.  Rather than spending time in the kitchen and at the piano, I parked it in Dad's recliner with the heating pad and Tylenol close at hand.

Since I was forced to sit still, there was little to occupy my mind.  I know myself.  If I think about things or begin to make plans, I become restless and irritated.  I did make use of my time though.  Since learning the art of cross-stitching as a third grader, I have always enjoyed creating pictures with needle and thread.  Normally I keep this information to myself since such activities are not considered masculine by many in the Bible Belt.  You can imagine the comments and teasing I have endured over the years.  Anyway, the movement of the thread through the fabric has always been relaxing to me and something to keep my hands busy when I need some time away from the piano.  I also like watching the image emerge from nothingness - a visual representation of a piano piece's development.

So -- just for the fun of it -- I am including a few images of some cross-stitch pieces I've completed over the years as well as a snapshot of the status of my current project.  Hope you enjoy looking at them half as much as I have enjoyed making them.

Here's my prized possession:  a Thomas Kinkade English garden.

My family is especially fond of this piece. Framed as a unit, I took photos of each half so you can see some of the details as well.

And now....for the moment of the truth.....the work in progress!  It's the beginning of a Thanksgiving sampler.  Not much to see at the moment, but you'll see where things are at the moment.

Comfortable in My Own Skin

From time to time, life brings weeks that are best described as rough. This week has been one of those for me. Lots of job responsibilities, disappointment, hurt, and stress have piled up in my world. So, at the end of this week, I find myself pulling away from the world for a bit and spending some quiet time alone. I'm not sad about anything really; I just need to spend some time getting comfortable in my own skin for a little while. Some would consider this self-imposed respite horribly lonely. Personally, I find solitude invigorating and refreshing.
Being alone allows me to get my thoughts in order and deal with some issues that are weighing on my mind. I am naturally an introverted person and very analytical. Finding time to just be at rest is a treasured commodity in my hectic world. These times alone are opportunities to replenish my creativity. After spending time alone, I normally experience some of my greatest times of productivity - and this time is already proving to be no different. In addition to writing a couple of pieces with which I am very happy, I have also made significant strides on several things that have been simmering on the back burner of my mind. Solitude often leads to successful ventures.
Solitude allows me to relax. Two of my greatest joys come from watching television and reading novels. For the first time in quite a while, I took the time for the past two days to completely lose myself in a story and let my imagination dream. The only bad thing is that I know that I ultimately have to return to reality. For now, though, I'm relishing the humorous world I find in literature and sit-coms.
Most importantly, solitude helps me to refocus on the things that are most important in life. When all is said and done, many of the things that cause me stress are of little importance. In my times of solitude, my heart and mind are drawn back to the source of my faith and there I find direction, peace, healing, and strength. I am reminded that the most important thing in my life is my relationship with my Heavenly Father who loves me beyond measure and cherishes these times of solitude as much as I do. It's only when the voices of the rest of the world are quieted for a while that I am able to clearly hear His voice gently singing over me. It is a beautiful song that I love to hear!
So relax, my friends, when you see me pulling away into my proverbial cocoon. I won't stay there too long – just long enough to get my bearings and find the Center of my Joy again. When I emerge, I'll come out stronger and ready for the challenges that lie ahead. Solitude is a wonderful remedy for a weary soul; you should give it a try.

The Rest of the Story....

No need to fear; I am not channeling Paul Harvey!  At the end of a busy, emotional, and exhausting Monday, I truly know that my mini-vacation is officially over.  I am not entirely ready to let it go, so I will give you the rest of the details of my trip to Branson, Missouri.

On Friday morning, I began the day quite late and headed to Silver Dollar City.  I expected a small-scale theme park that was unable to compete with the larger parks I have visited.  What I discovered is a charming park that is content with its own identity without attempting to compete with any other place.  While not filled with spectacular thrill rides, Silver Dollar City has a certain charm that was relaxing and exactly the experience that I needed.  And I can't forget to mention the amazing taffy that I bought;  I just finished off the last of it tonight (and I haven't decided yet if that's a GOOD thing or a BAD thing). 

I left the park a few hours later than I intended, so I wasn't certain I would be able to get tickets for a show that evening, but I decided to give it a try.  When I walked into the discount sales center, I was a bit shocked when they laughed at my request.  Now I realize just how funny my introduction must have been.  "I want to see a show tonight and need some suggestions.  Let me tell you what I don't want though:  no country music at all and nothing that is completely driven by the music."  What else is there in Branson?  My request shouldn't be that unexpected to some of you.  I wanted to get as far away as I could from everything that was stressful in my life at the time - that included my work in the musical field.

To my delight, the ticket agent had a wonderful suggestion:  the Chinese acrobats of the Shanghai Circus.  Even though I was late for the show due to Branson's heavy traffic, I was mesmerized by the dazzling display of skill and artistry that I experienced.  I won't go into too much detail about the show here as it is going to be the basis for my next blog on Collaborations. 

Saturday morning, I got up to get everything packed away for the trip home.  Before leaving I was to have lunch with a dear friend who is now living north of Branson.  The food and the company was wonderfully insightful, uplifting, and encouraging.  All in all, my lunch plans at Fuddrucker's was a fitting end to a great vacation.

I don't know when or where, but I am confident that another mini-vacation will be in my future.  It lowered my stress level, renewed my creativity, and enabled me to come home with new-founded vision and drive. 

Personal Retreat

Today was the first of three days of personal retreat for me.  Recently, demands have been made upon my time, talent, and abilities that caused me to reach a point of diminishing returns.  I feel as though I have nothing to give out right now, so I began to entertain the thought early in the week to escape for a few days.  I intentionally gave no thought to where I was going and made no advance plans;  I wanted to maintain a certain level of spontaneity and adventure.  Since I would be traveling alone -- no family in tow on this trip -- I knew I would have complete flexibility.

This afternoon, I found myself in Branson, Missouri.  I must admit that I was surprised myself at the ultimate destination.  Generally, I tend to seek out urban settings that have lots of activity and a very cosmopolitan vibe.  Branson was not defined as either in my mind. Now that I am here, I am finding that it is a very charming town with lots of things to do.  The nice thing about Branson is that it has a very wholesome vibe and operates at a very relaxed pace.

As I drove, I promised myself that this weekend would be all about me.  While not planning to go overboard, I intended to pamper myself a little bit.  I mean, who doesn't enjoy a little luxury in their life from time to time?  I was thinking that I would treat myself to a nice dinner and a show while I was here.  Funny how things don't always go according to my plan -- and often work out even better than I had expected.

I didn't know where I was going, so I needed to plug an address into my GPS before leaving home.  When I googled properties in Branson, the first one that came up was the Best Western in the historic area.  The facilities looked nice enough, so I thought I would be satisfied.  When I asked if there were vacancies for 2 nights, there was only one non-smoking room available:  a King suite with a whirlpool tub.  The price was reasonable (even though it was more than I had planned for), so I took the suite.  You're really not surprised, are you?  I mean....come on....a private whirlpool tub at my disposal for my back, arms, and hands?  Of course I'll take it!

I asked for dinner recommendations and was told about Rocky's, an Italian restaurant just a few blocks away.  Even though I was surrounded by children (some of whom decided to take a seat in my booth and carry on a conversation with me while we waited for our food!), the meal was quite nice...especially the pasta.  Walking back to the hotel, I made a quick stop into an old-fashioned ice cream parlor to satisfy my sweet tooth.  The rest of the evening was spent watching the premiere of the new season of Project Runway and soaking in the whirlpool.

As I am coming to the end of the day, I am realizing how important days like this are to me as an artist.  People of every profession become tired and weary, needing periods of rest to recover.  I do not diminish that fact in the least.  I think that these mini-vacations may be even more essential in the life of the artist.  Not only do they allow us to recharge, but they also re-inspire us;  my art is a reflection of my view of the world in which I live.  Without opportunities to "stop and smell the roses," my message becomes flat and uninteresting. 

I've tentatively made plans for tomorrow -- things that will bring me sources of inspiration for areas that I feel need to be refueled -- but I'm giving myself permission to scrap the plan at any point and begin afresh.  I don't want to be a slave to a schedule, personal expectations, or anything else.  I'm taking this trip one day at a time. 

Of course, my brain is always at work.  I've already thought of some great topics to blog about over on Collaborations and have inspiration for a new article relating to Children's Ministry, but all of that will just have to wait.  For the next 72 hours, I have only one job.....taking care of my personal needs at the expense of everything else.

Planning a Trip to Nowhere

Summer is winding down and my life is calmer than it has been for quite some time.  I don't have any performances hanging over my head at the moment.  There are no CDs to record.  Summer school is over and I don't have the new textbook to make changes to the fall course.  Music camp is a faint memory, and piano lessons don't begin for another month at least.  It sounds like it's the perfect time for a mini-vacation.

I had planned to visit a friend in Jonesboro on Thursday night, but he now has a conflict.  That means that plans are changing.  Of course, your favorite pianist is also quite the traveler.  Give me a car and an open road and I will set out with the best of them.  Where am I going?  I don't know!  The only thing that's set in stone is that I'm leaving sometime on Thursday and will return home on Saturday in order to be here for Sunday morning services.  I don't have a destination in mind or even a direction.  For me, this is the ultimate version of spontaneity!

This is not the first time I've done this;  in fact, it's almost become sort of an annual ritual.  I look for a chance to get away and just set out.  My favorite memory of one of these explorations was the first one I took.  I made it up to St. Louis and decided to explore the city.  Sadly, no one told me that the Little League World Series was in town that October week, so there were NO ROOMS in the entire city.  I drove for several hours until I finally found a room.  By this point I decided that I would just head to Kansas City the next morning and start my adventure in a new location.

Somehow plans never work out for me.  I got up early the next morning and headed to KC -- and got there in an hour!  It was WAY too early to stop driving for the day and I didn't think there would be much to do there anyway, so I decided to head north a bit and see where I ended up.  Fast forward to the afternoon and you'll find me in Minneapolis, Minnesota!   Why?  Because I saw a sign for the Mall of America and thought, "Why not!"  I had a BLAST and came home so relaxed and refreshed, even though my body was exhausted.

I won't be going that far this time since I only have a couple of days, but I'm not making any plans.  I'll have my GPS with me so I can find my way home.  So....stay tuned to see where this adventure takes me!