College Search Tips

All over the country, many high school juniors are beginning their college search. This year, one of my nieces is getting the ball rolling. College has been a major part of my life. I truly believe that my school choices shaped the man I have become because of the people I met there, the opportunities I had, and the academic excellence I encountered at both institutions. As I have reflected on my own college search, I have thought about the parts of the process that were most challenging and the insight I wish someone had shared with me.

• Relax and enjoy the experience! This is a major decision that you want to consider carefully...but it's also an exciting time. You are choosing a school to attend. It's the first major decision you have gotten to make as a young adult. Enjoy the process and don't let the decision overwhelm you. You have all the tools you need to make a wise choice.
• Choose a field of study instead of a career path. Statistics suggest that a large proportion of college graduates will not major in the field that they will ultimate establish as their career path. The undergraduate experience is largely about learning how to process information. Find a major that interests you because you will be devoting a lot of time to the study of this field in the coming years. As you move through your college studies, you will be introduced to career paths in your discipline that you may have never realized were an option. Follow your interests now and trust that your career path will make itself clear in time. You don't have to have your entire future mapped out before beginning classes....so enjoy the experience of learning.
• Figure out what things are important to you in a college. If possible, begin thinking about these issues before you really dive into the college search. It is important to learn those aspects of higher education that you value. This can be a challenging process as you will have input from your parents, teachers, and other well-meaning people. Listen carefully to their input and counsel, but remember that the final decision is yours alone. What types of questions should you ask yourself? Here are a few that I had to answer that will hopefully get you started. Is it important to attend a Christian school or do you just need to have a strong church nearby? Do you want to study in a bustling city or a quiet college town? Do you prefer a large state school with lots of social activities or a small campus that feels more like a family? There are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions...but answering these types of questions will help you narrow down your college selections.
• Reputation matters! Some people are going to try to convince you that the only thing that matters is that you ultimately receive a degree. They are going to tell you that graduating from an inexpensive school is just as good as one of the Big Ten schools. Here's the truth.....THEY ARE LYING!!! THE REPUTATION OF THE SCHOOL THAT YOU ATTEND IS IMMENSELY IMPORTANT! Here's why....the name of your college will follow you for the rest of your life on every resume you submit. Think about this hypothetical situation....if you are suffering a life-threatening illness, do you want to be treated by a doctor that graduated from Detroit City College or Johns Hopkins University? See???? As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the school's reputation effects how we are perceived. Once you have a good idea about the field that you plan to study, do some research on the reputation of that program at various schools as well as the schools' reputations as a whole. A good place to start is the U.S. News and World Reports college report cards and information easily found on the Internet.
• Dare to dream! There will be plenty of naysayers during your college search. 
• "Why are you considering THAT school?"
• "You'll never get accepted THERE!"
• "That place is only for rich kids."
• "You'll never make it that far from home."
• I heard every one of these negative comments from some of the people closest to me while I was settling on my college choice. It was painful to hear their negativity and filled me with self-doubt. Thankfully, I had a wise mother who told me I'd never know what I could accomplish until I applied!
• I recommend applying to multiple schools. One should be an absolute dream....if tuition was not a factor and I can manage to get admitted, this is where I would like to attend. This is the school that you are not even sure you can get into.....your grades and test scores might be just above the bottom threshold. Even though it probably won't work out, take the risk to apply......because THINGS MIGHT WORK OUT SO YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO ATTEND YOUR DREAM SCHOOL!
• Then apply to several reputable schools that are competitive and respected for which you qualify. Lastly, apply to a safe bet....a place where you are confident that you will probably be admitted and can be perfectly content spending a few years.
• Above all, DON'T JUST SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU KNOW IS POSSIBLE; dare to shoot for the stars! Who knows? You may find that the stars are suddenly within your grasp!!!
• Before moving on, let me say a brief word about money and the college search. Schools offer financial assistance of all types for a plethora of reasons. You may qualify for some of those institutional funds....but they will only be offered after you are admitted! In addition, there are federally funded loans and grants that allow students to attend college now and repay the loans once they have a job. Is it ideal to go into debt for a college education? That's a question only you can answer. I propose that student loans should be viewed as an investment in your future. If you are admitted to a prestigious college -- especially if it is your dream school -- you may find loan payments a very feasible consideration for your life.
• Realize that your college years are a time to expand your horizons. Never again will life give you the opportunity to do so many things in a safe environment for so little expense. Have you always wanted to live in another state? Have you dreamed of studying overseas for a year? If so, look for schools that allow that dream to become a reality. It will be less expensive now than at any other time. Do you want to learn a little bit about a lot of topics? A liberal arts college might be the perfect match for you. Whatever has always been on your "I really want to...." list, look for a school that gives you the opportunity to do just that!

Selecting the perfect school is a difficult process. It will involve lots of research and consideration on your part. It will not be easy....but the rewards will continue to pay dividends for a lifetime! If you were to ask my advice, I would always suggest that you consider becoming a "Wave of Malibu!" But I also know that was the right decision for me.....Now it's time for you to begin your adventure of finding the perfect school for your college career.

Enjoy the search!
Kennith

Silencing the Critic Within

On Thursday evening, October 16, 2014, I had the distinct pleasure to participate in an outstanding student recital. Featuring works by Poulenc, Ives, Bellini, and Massenet, the performance was the culmination of a semester of thorough preparation. I felt very confident in my preparation as I walked on stage.

I also felt very tired. The week had been packed with all sorts of activities. As the start of the concert drew near, I began to feel that the week was catching up to me. I was depending on my solid preparatory work to carry me through the difficult program ahead. Thankfully, the recital was well-received and the audience was moved by the music.

As we exited the stage following the opening set -- Poulenc's Tel jour, telle nuit -- I found myself hearing the voice of my inner critic. I knew that I had played the cycle much better than what I had just presented. I was struggling to maintain focus. I was certain that I had disappointed my fellow performer and colleagues. In that moment, I knew how important it was to stay in the present moment and silence the inner critic. But his negativity was so LOUD and persistent!

I don't think my experience is unique. Regardless of what you do, it is easy to allow harsh criticism to rise up within you. Criticism can be a catalyst for improvement when properly handled. Criticism can also be crippling! One of our biggest challenges can be learning how to objectively listen to criticism and how to silence the inner critic when necessary.

Silencing your inner critic is an extremely personal process. Through trial and error, we individually learn the tools we can use to cause the negativity to stop. When I begin to criticize myself in an unproductive way, I intentionally look for things that were successful and think about them. I then remind myself that my worth -- as neither a musician nor a human -- is determined solely by my performance. Perhaps most importantly, I think about why the activity matters to me so much and challenge myself to enjoy the process since rehashing what is already done will not change the past at all.

Thursday's performance was far from perfect, but it was much more successful as I chose to enjoy the music-making instead of punishing myself for past sins. Whether you are performing on a concert stage, in a classroom, or in an office building, my hope for you is the same -- may you continue to live in the moment, enjoying your passionate pursuit as you diligently silence the accusing voice of your harsh inner critic!

The Choices We Make

Every day is filled with choices to be made. Some are quite routine and appear insignificant at the time. Other decisions have lasting impact that will be felt for years to come. Whether we realize it or not, every choice we make results in a consequence. A poorly chosen outfit may result in being chilly all day. Decisions related to project planning and scheduling can significantly effect our productivity.

What factors contribute to the decision-making process? We hope that we have carefully weighed the situation from all perspectives, and made a decision that will be beneficial to everyone involved while aligning with our moral code. Unfortunately, not every decision is made wisely. Here are a few factors that have led me to make unwise decisions at times.

• Snap decisions. Rarely do I know immediately what the best choice is. Decisions require thought. If I have not allowed adequate time to consider the decision -- or if I procrastinate due to fear -- the probability of missing an important factor in the process is significantly higher.
• Peer pressure. Sometimes we know that others expect us to make a certain decision. In order to please others, we can make a choice that appears right to them and makes us miserable in the long run. For people-pleasers like me, this is a potential pitfall I have to constantly guard against.
• Failing to ask for advice. Other people have journeyed this road before. Their wisdom can provide valuable insight. There is a fine line here, however. It is important that we hear their wise advice without falling prey to the people-pleasing trap mentioned above. Additionally, as a person of faith, I find it imperative to ask for divine wisdom on a daily basis. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us that God has a plan for our lives. Our greatest joy comes when we make decisions that align with the Father's perfect plan for our lives.

What other factors inhibit you from making wise decisions? What steps do you take to avoid the trap that you are now aware of? I'd love to hear from you in the comments section below.

Going Through the Motions

Why do we feel it necessary to do things we don't want to do in order to appease others? I had a recent conversation with members of my family about just this topic while making plans for the weekend. They found themselves attending events out of a sense of perceived duty rather than actual desire. Why do we so often feel as though we must do things to please others?

I get the idea that we sometimes do things for the greater good or as part of a larger team. What I struggle with is investing time in activities continually that do not benefit me as an individual. Am I really going to constantly work additional hours if I'm not compensated for them? Probably not. How long do I continue in an activity that is emotionally draining just because I perceive that my presence is expected? At what point do I accept the fact that I have the right and responsibility to do what makes me happy?

I'm all for living a life of service. I try to do things for the greater good on a regular basis. When any action becomes an act of laborious duty, however, it's time to evaluate its role in my life. The truth of the matter is that if I'm not experiencing some level of joy from my participation, I'm probably not contributing very much by just going through the motions anyway. When I come to this realization, it may be time for a significant change.  I guess the image below from Laurie Wallin (a speaker, writer, and Life Coach) sums up my feelings better than anything else:

When Things Just Don't Work Out

Sometimes things just don't work out....no matter how badly we want it...despite our efforts and reasoning. Even when we finally come to terms in our brain that the outcome was right, our heart still holds on to the desire.

On this late evening as I write, I'm facing one of these situations. Earlier this summer, I was offered the position of Artist-in-Residence at Oklahoma Panhandle State University. I went to visit the campus and fell in love with the people. I was excited to teach a new class. I longed to be able to move out of my parents' home and begin life on my own.

There was only one problem. The salary was only $21,000 annually. Yes, there were benefits to consider -- health insurance, retirement -- but there were also taxes and medicare to deduct from the salary. As I started to run the numbers, I realized I would literally be living hand to mouth. Should a crisis arise, there would be no additional money to deal with the problem.

For weeks, I stared at the numbers, searching for more corners to cut so my dream could become a reality. I dared to imagine the quiet solitude of my own apartment and the joy of having friends over for dinner. After spending several days wishing and hoping, I knew I had to wake up and face reality. The numbers were clear; I could not meet my monthly financial obligations on the offered salary.

When the job offer was made, I was clearly told that the salary was non-negotiable. Writing the email to decline the position was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I have somehow equated having a full time position in my field as the ultimate validation that all the hard work was worth it. I suppose I think a position will finally declare me successful.

My brain knows I made the right decision. Honestly, there wasn't really a choice to make! It's just taking my heart a little while to catch up. So, it's back to the fray of writing cover letters, asking for references, and sending out resumes. I'm just hoping that the dream becomes a reality before I stop hoping and believing.

Weighing the Possibilities

This summer, the job hunt is at the forefront of my mind. Since earning my degree, I've been piecing together a living through several part-time positions. It's not ideal, but it allows me to continue working in my field. I long for the day that I finally land a full-time position.

Even though I'm desperate for a job, I don't want to make a decision without weighing the pros and cons of the position extensively. Last week, I had a phone interview for a position that pays just over $20,000 annually. The interview went well and I know I'm a contender for the job. (Actually, I was offered the position a few years ago and declined because of "red flags" everywhere.) After the phone call, I continue to have some trepidation.

UPDATE: I received an offer for the position on Friday afternoon, June 6. This post was written earlier that morning and remains in its original form.

During the interview, I was informed that finalists will not be brought to campus. The position will be offered "site unseen." Numerous references have been made to the extreme rural setting. Honestly, all of this talk has sounded more like a warning to me. I'm all for being adventurous, but I don't see myself agreeing to sign a contract and move having never visited the locale before. My immediate question was what are you hiding? I don't think the intention is to deceive, but it certainly feels as though there is more going on here than I am being told!

The other signal in my head is the timing. In 2012, I was offered the job without an interview in late July -- mere weeks before classes started. Now, the job is being interviewed at the very beginning of the season. With lots of other applications out for jobs I would like to obtain, am I really going to verbally accept a position that I have reservations about? Truthfully, I submitted this application with the thought that it would be a back-up plan -- a last resort, of sorts -- if nothing else was offered.

All of this may be entirely premature. No offer has been made yet. Still, I have to wonder if it's a responsible act to turn down a position I am not certain is a good fit for me when I've been on the hunt for five years. Or is it foolishness to think something better will come alone. At the beginning of this summer without a steady income, I'm feeling desperate; keeping a level head is proving to be challenging. Prayers for wisdom, discernment, and direction are greatly appreciated.

The Next Chapter

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you probably know that I began a three month sabbatical from my church job in April. This time allowed me to address some things that had long been ignored. As the sabbatical began to come to an end, I realized that I needed to make some significant changes in my life. As a result, I notified the church earlier this month that I was resigning from my positions as director of music and children's ministries.

It certainly wasn't an easy decision to make. I am passionate about music and children. I have enjoyed fourteen years of service to this local congregation and consider its members to be my friends. What it finally came down to was a certainty in my core that the time had come to leave. I'm not going to publicly explain the reasons behind my decision here; I will simply state emphatically that I have absolutely no doubt that I have made the right decision and am content, happy, and at peace, resting in the favor of my Heavenly Father. It's a wonderful feeling!

What does the future hold? I'm not entirely sure. That's a lesson I'm learning right now.....stepping out in faith and trusting God to provide. There are no exciting announcements to make. As of now, I'll continue teaching students at Mid-South Community College and working as staff pianist at Union University. There are some other teaching and performing opportunities in the works, but it's a little too early to tell about them since the details are still being finalized. Resigning my position was a huge financial hit, but I finally had to admit to myself that happiness was worth far more than a paycheck.

Change is never easy, but it's often the very thing necessary to bring about growth. Right now I'm enjoying rediscovering my love for the piano, exploring God's Word with new eyes, and looking forward to whatever the future may have in store for me. I invite you to follow along as I continue to share the stories of my adventure of simply Livin' Life......the next chapter.

Choices, Choices

Throughout our lives, we make plans for the future. What do I want to be when I grow up? What school do I want to attend to train for my job? Who will I marry? Where will I live? Should I change careers? How will I care for my aging parents? How do I know I've made the right decision?

Inevitably all of these questions include an amount of uncertainty. Planning for the future is planning for the unknown. We don't know the circumstances that tomorrow will bring. We acknowledge that our choices today will effect the reality of tomorrow and we sometimes find ourselves dreading the future. Even worse, we can sometimes fall into taking no action today in fear of tomorrow's consequences. Yet we also know that "nothing comes from nothing." Do nothing today and you are certain to achieve nothing tomorrow.

So today's question is actually quite simple: How do you go about planning for the future? I certainly contend that prayerful consideration of the future is a first step. There are times when God is silent though. If we're honest, those situations come along more often than we would like. It's easy when we are confident of divine direction to make a choice for tomorrow in absolute faith. It's the choices that we have to made amidst the silence that are so frightening. As humans, we are prone to make mistakes. I have to wonder, when God is silent, is it possible to make an enormous error if neither choice violates God's law?

When choices appear and I don't have clear direction, I personally believe that those are decisions that are left to me. Neither is going to be harmful in the grand scheme of things. One may be more profitable than the other though. That's where I can begin to use logic, insight, advice from others, and discernment to weigh the options and make the best possible decision. I take comfort in knowing that most of these decisions are not irreversible. If I discover I made a poor choice, I can back track and correct my path. I might lose a little time, but I'm able to consider the first decision a learning experience.

What do you think? How do you go about making decisions?