No Substitute

I am person of routine. I like things the same way and I tend to use the same products all the time. Occasionally, I find that a substitution is acceptable. To save a little money, I'll use generic drugs. If the restaurant doesn't have Coke, I'll have a Pepsi instead. (I may cringe on the inside, but I'll still drink the soda.) I'm even okay with substituting a weighted key keyboard for my beloved piano in certain situations. I know.....I know......

But there are some things that simply cannot be substituted. Instant potatoes simply cannot replace the luxurious creaminess of Mom's whipped potatoes. Not just any blanket will suffice when I'm feeling bad; I need my orange Pepperdine throw to get me through. When I'm having a really bad day (or bad weeks as the case has been lately), nothing and no one can substitute for a comforting conversation with Mom.

I have plenty of good friends who offer hugs and comfort. They know how to make me laugh and genuinely care about me. But their best efforts still don't come close to a long talk with Mom. You see, my Mom is my best friend. Even though I was her last child, our relationship transformed when I returned home to complete my graduate work. As an adult, I was able to share thoughts and stories while still respecting her role as parent. Mom is also one of the most compassionate people I know. She patiently listens and is able to offer quick insight and wisdom that I may have overlooked in the midst of a stressful situation. I always know that she loves me without question and will always come to my defense and aid when necessary. Probably most comforting to me is the knowledge that my Mom has always been and will always be a prayer warrior. Mom has practiced the art of praying for her children throughout our lives, asking God to protect us from harm when we made less-than-wise decisions and to guide our steps as we looked for the next action to take. I am confident that most of the major points in my life have been covered by the fervent prayers of my loving, Godly mother.

Sitting down with Mom face to face isn't a possibility at the moment. I have responsibilities in west Texas that don't permit me to sneak away. My parents aren't able to make the trip here at the moment -- and even if they did, I don't know that I would have much time to sit with them. So for the moment, I'll just have to settle for phone calls wedged in between appointments and let that suffice. But I'm definitely getting homesick and looking forward to the next time I get to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with her while no one else is around. For now, I'll just count down the days until late November and my next trip home..... 

Are You Up for a Good Conversation?

Very few people consider me a great conversationalist. It's not that I don't have anything to contribute to the discussion or that I'm too afraid to make my opinions known. The fact of the matter is that in most situations, I am the quietest member of the group who is sitting at the edge of the discussion.

Why do I remain quiet if I truly enjoy great conversation? Over the years, I have learned that there are a few necessary steps for me to take in order to make comments that contribute to the overall discussion.

• Listen deeply. Far too often, I fear that people begin to express their ideas without being fully aware of the issues that are being discussed. When someone fails to truly listen in a conversation, the topic is often diverted to tangential subjects that misdirect the discussion and results in lots of unrelated threads of thought.
• Think before you speak. While listening carefully, it is also important to organize your thoughts. In some situations it is perfectly fine to work out your thoughts in the course of the conversation. Most of the time, a well thought-out response is more concise and leads to more dialogue.
• Wait for the right moment. Just because you have an opinion does not mean that it needs to be expressed the moment it is conceived. By waiting for a moment, you allow others to contribute to the conversation as well. If they share your opinion, it may not be necessary to comment immediately -- thus allowing you the opportunity to speak on a later issue without appearing to dominate the discussion. If your thought is not expressed, waiting momentarily lets you appear confident and willing to listen to other ideas as well.
• Hear the responses to your contribution. This is what conversation is all about, after all! Rather than simply beginning to think of your next rebuttal, it is vital that you actively listen to the responses coming from those you are debating. In my opinion, a great conversationalist will actually spend more time listening and considering ideas than actually talking.