When the Office Became a Place of Worship

I have a soft spot for young people who sense a call into ministry as worship leaders, yet struggle with their own insecurities and feelings of inferiority. I suppose it is because I can relate personally to their struggle. As a teen, I first sensed God's calling to use my talents in music in the area of worship. There was no one nearby to mentor me in worship ministry -- an area of ministry that was just coming into its own in the late 1980s in my church. Between the questions from adults about what worship ministry would look like and my own self-doubt, I was scared to pursue my calling. You see, I'm not a gregarious person. Honestly, I prefer to be alone than with other people. Eventually I would learn that often God's calling places us in uncomfortable situations where our weaknesses are evident so His glory can be portrayed through our faltering efforts.

Now that I have served as a worship minister for almost 20 years in various congregations, I cherish getting to watch young music ministers develop into the leaders that God intends them to be. Sometimes what I witness seems so natural for them. At other times, what I witness can be described as nothing other than a "God moment," where His hand is clearly at work in the life of a young person and their calling is evident to everyone who witnesses it. I was fortunate to witness one of those "God moments" in the unlikeliest of places recently.

I entered a voice studio where the weekly lesson of a young struggling singer was already underway. She is confident of her calling to music ministry, yet struggles to see how things are going to turn out due to her lack of training and hurtful comments by peers. In this particular week, the lesson focused on a charming piece which quotes a scripture passage of reassurance spoken by God Himself over His people. Her initial performance was shy, reserved, and somewhat apologetic. When asked if God is apologizing in this passage, the student shared a beautiful testimony about her own journey that has led her to this place, her desire to be faithfully obedient to God's calling, and what the lyrics of the song have spoken into her spirit recently.

Now that she had expressed her thoughts and statement of personal faith so simply, the young singer began the song again. The difference in sound was amazing. It wasn't louder nor did it suddenly sound like a new voice. Instead, in the simplicity of her pure sound, confidence and worship was pouring out of her heart. The small voice studio was transformed into a sanctuary in that moment and God's presence was evident. I felt as though God had arrived in that temporary place of worship to intimately receive the worship that was being offered while affirming the divine call upon this young life. All those in the room could only respond with tears; we were overwhelmed by this time of worship and the closeness of God's presence.

Over the years, I have been involved in the lives of lots of young worship leaders and have mentored several of them personally. I can safely say that I have never witnessed or experienced anything like this before. The rest of the people in the music building in that moment had no idea what was going on in the studio in the middle of the hallway. It was such a profound moment of worship that those of us that were there will never forget it -- and I, for one, will never view the work that happens in the studio in quite the same way.

Annoying Sounds

Most people can identify the sound that most annoys them. Fingernails on a chalkboard. The incessant clicking of a ballpoint pen. Fingers mindlessly drumming the desk. Gum smacking in an open mouth. Noisy chewing. I must admit that many of these sounds can send me into orbit, but I'm discovering a new sound that is driving me crazy. The sad part is that the noise is coming from my piano.

I have a lovely Steinway Model A grand piano in my studio that I get to work with each day. When I first became acquainted with it, I wasn't sure we were going to have a good relationship. The action was stiff and I simply could not produce the tone colors for which I was striving. As time passed and as I got to know the instrument's idiosyncrasies, I grew very fond of my constant office companion and friend. I have fallen in love with its tones that can be brilliant and richly warm.

As west Texas weather continues to fluctuate wildly, the Steinway is developing new sounds. The sound varies from day to day and appears in different registrations of the piano. The sound can only be described as an obnoxious rattle. Today, it appears in the middle of the instrument. It is not associated with a single note either -- that would allow me to avoid certain keys -- so an E major chord rattles in one way while activity centered around F major generates a different frequency of annoyance.

I'm not a piano technician, so I can't speak with absolute authority on the matter. It appears that the unstable humidity in the atmosphere -- and my office -- is causing the sound board to expand and retract. The result of the wood's movement is the loosening of pins that begin to rattle when they are played. Even though I can't completely diagnose the problem, I know the impact it is having on my life. I am finding myself avoiding prolonged periods at the piano because I can't achieve the sound I desire through no fault of my own. While a non-musician may not be distracted by the rattle, it is driving me nuts. I have spent my life tuning my ears to the tones coming from my instrument and how my attacks and releases of the keys effect the sound that is produced. It's almost as bad as playing on an old piano that is horribly out of tune.

So here I sit with my treasured friend, longing for the day that things finally settle down and the unwelcomed rattle goes away. I'm ready to once again fully enjoy the sounds coming from this amazing instrument!

Paperwork is the Pits!

I absolutely love making music. I love getting to work with young students and presenting performances to showcase their hard work and talent. I love the fact that I get paid to make music daily. However, I hate filling out paperwork in order to get paid.

Let me give you a little background before I launch into this rant. I have been contracted to accompany a few instrumental students from Plainview High School for an upcoming competition this weekend. I did some similar work for another area high school a few weeks back as well. For that school, I simply had to provide my social security number and my fee; a check was cut and sent right away. That's the situation that I am used to when working as a contracted professional in high schools in Arkansas, Tennessee, California, and now -- Texas.

But wait! Plainview is going to need additional information. I spent a significant chunk of my lunch hour filling out a part-time job application -- did I mention that this job will involve a total of 8 hours of work by the time the contest is over? -- that was PAGES UPON PAGES in length. Come on! Do I really need to decline health insurance? How many times must I declare that I am a U.S. citizen? I understand that much of this is mandated by the federal government, but I find myself wondering if my short-term involvement actually requires all of this. Based on the comments of the employees that were trying to get all of the paperwork together, they were not entirely sure that it was necessary.....but their supervisors demanded it be done, so here we are. My work with the school district will most likely be done before this mass of paperwork is actually processed! This is insane! No wonder people shy away from getting involved with public school districts for short-term commitments.

Now that I've ranted about the lunacy of the situation, I'll accept the fact that I've lost those precious minutes of my life, chalk it up as another example of inane bureaucratic crap, and prepare to take a voided check back to the business office so I can actually get paid the money that I'm working to earn.

What Do You Do?

Since starting my job this fall, I've repeatedly heard two questions.

• How do you like living in Texas?
• What exactly do you do?

I feel pretty confident that I have answered the first question. So let me give you -- especially my extended family and friends who know very little about musical training -- some insight into my work.

 

My official title is Assistant Professor of Piano at Wayland Baptist University. As you might guess, I spend the majority of my day sitting on a piano bench, but I switch hats throughout the day.

 

My primary teaching responsibility is the class piano sequence. Every student who studies music -- regardless of their principle instrument -- needs to develop basic keyboard skills. That's where my class comes in. Every non-pianist in the music program takes a 4-semester sequence that meets twice each week to build their piano skills. Much of our time is spent learning scales and chord progressions as we explore late elementary and early intermediate piano repertoire. After students complete the 4th semester of class piano, they take a benchmark exam to demonstrate their level of proficiency. The exam addresses solo performance as well as skills such as sight reading, transposition, and score reading. For many of our students, the proficiency exam is a major hurdle before they begin the upper division coursework in the field.

 

In addition to class piano, I currently teach applied piano lessons to one freshman woman. She is a early intermediate student who is not afraid of a challenge. We've had a lot of fun this semester, made some significant progress, and have already begun to plan our repertoire choices for the spring. I'm hoping to have the opportunity to do more private teaching as the piano program at WBU grows.

 

The rest of my week is filled with a lot of playing in rehearsals and lessons of all types. I currently work with eleven vocalists as well as the students enrolled in class voice. As the semester begins to wind down, instrumentalists are beginning to seek me out for accompaniments for their jury exams. At this point, I have received music from five of them. Monday and Wednesday afternoons find me spending 90 minutes with the men and women of Wayland Singers -- the department's non-auditioned choir. This week brings the end of the university's opera offering; we're mounting a production of The Mikado. Those who have known me the longest will be surprised to hear that my time in opera workshop is some of my favorite times of the week.

 

Then there's all the work that comes outside of the classroom and rehearsal studio. Thankfully, I was not assigned to any standing committees during my first semester of work. That has allowed me some time to do some recruiting (phone calls and emails take more time than you would ever expect). I'm working on a new course that will be offered in the spring. I could go on and on about student recitals, NATS competitions, LMTA meetings, master classes, and student rehearsals....but I think you get the picture. I've found myself very busy and very fulfilled.

 

Posted with Blogsy

My Most Influential Musical Moments

This is the final installment in this series of major influences on my life. Music plays a tremendous role in my life, so I thought it would be fun to think about the top five musical experiences that have impacted me as a musician. (There is no way that I could confidently state the "most influential" moments, so I will have to settle for five that were really important.)

1. The youth department of the church that I grew up in held an annual Teen Talent competition. The contest featured local, state, and international rounds and winning was a great honor. I competed in the Arkansas state competition for 6 years and won the piano division each year. I was fortunate enough to compete in the international competition twice. It was during these competitions that I was first introduced to the hymn arrangements of Marilynn Ham. These arrangements have served me well over the years and I have a special fondness for Ham's arrangements of Great is Thy Faithfulness and Be Thou My Vision. The introduction to these works clearly established my belief that instrumental music can be a powerful method of sharing concepts of faith with an audience.
2. After transferring to West Memphis Christian School, I was encouraged to participate in the summer musical presented by the local community theater. I really didn't know what I was getting into, but I auditioned anyway. A few weeks into that production of Carousel, I found myself sitting at the piano....and being asked to play for the evening's rehearsal. I didn't really realize that playing a major score at sight was a big deal, so there was no opportunity to get nervous. That night taught me that I had a gift for sight reading, a love for musical theater, and began a great friendship with one of my personal mentors, Donna Bledsoe.
3. Eastern Arkansas was not known for its strong choral tradition while I was in high school. When I began studying at Pepperdine University, I had the opportunity to sing in a choir for the first time and fulfilled a lifelong dream. What I never expected was that my first semester would include the opportunity to sing Carmina Burana! I immediately fell in love with this powerful choral work and have been involved with choral music ever since.
4. It was also at Pepperdine that I began to gain confidence as a pianist. When I was asked to open the dedication of the college's new recital hall with Brahms' G Minor Rhapsody, I was overwhelmed and honored. I still enjoy going back to this early work and diving into the richness of those bass octaves!
5. In graduate school, I had spent most of my accompanying time in vocal studios to make a little extra money because that was the repertoire with which I felt most comfortable. As soon as I was introduced to Halsey Stevens' trumpet sonata, I was hooked on the world of instrumental collaboration. Not only did I enjoy it; I learned that I did some of my best work with brass and woodwind instruments. I still spend most of my time with vocalists at the moment, but there's always a longing to return to the instrumental side of collaboration as often as possible....and I'm looking forward to playing a recital with an undergraduate violinist in early May!

Returning to the Routine

After a rough few weeks, I think I'm finally getting back to a normal routine. I continue to have some tenderness in my chest and shoulder, but the "pain" has mostly subsided. Medication seems to be doing its job; even though I am often sleepy, I am feeling much better. As I feel better, I want to do everything that I normally do. Under the doctor's advice, I have to take it easy for a while longer. That means I'm limited to playing piano only when absolutely necessary for work....and that playing is simply "marking" the left hand.

Want to frustrate a musician? Simply tell them they can't make music for a while. It is killing me to play for lessons and know that I cannot "fix" the problems that arise since I'm not yet able to resume my normal practice schedule. I'm listening to more music than normal, but it just isn't the same as creating music with my hands. I anticipate that I'll be able to get back to practicing once I return from my upcoming trip to the West Coast. I'm looking forward to the time away.....but I'm really looking forward to getting to sit at my piano again and get back to work!

Lasting Impact

My family and I went to visit my mother's brother, Sam, and his family recently. While we sat in the kitchen together sharing stories and catching up, I was flooded with memories of life events involving my Uncle Sam. I remember the joy of seeing him and Aunt Marion walking up the porch around Christmas time because I always knew Uncle Sam was going to bring a great gift that was purchased with love. Trips to Texas and Michigan to visit family were never dull; whether Sam was cracking a joke with his sly smile or telling my Mom to put my head down because there was another KFC on the horizon, every journey was a happy memory. (Hmmm......I think I hear the Colonel calling my name now!)

While thinking about the impact my uncle has had on my life, I realized that he impacted my life in a lasting way. Although I don't remember receiving the gift, I have very special memories of the toy piano that was given to me by my Uncle Sam. No one knew then that such a simple gift would profoundly shape my future.

As a child, my parents raised me in a small church in eastern Arkansas. According to those who were there, as a child of 2 or 3 I would sit on my knees during the singing of hymns and pretend to play the piano on the back of the wooden pew. This air-piano continued until I was about 6; that's when I started taking piano lessons. In those earliest years, it wasn't uncommon to find me sitting next to the pianist, watching her fingers fly across the keys in amazement.

Since it was clear that I loved the piano, my uncle decided a toy piano would be the perfect gift. (My dad continues to harass Sam about buying that noisy thing for me......and blaming him that the noise has never stopped since that first piano!) I remember its reddish-brown color sitting against the wall in the center room of our home. I imitated what I saw on Sunday morning in my home throughout the week. I'm sure they weren't beautiful sounds, but I was having a blast.

A gift to a toddler led to a battered upright piano and the beginning of piano lessons. My 6-year-old self began a journey with the piano that is now in its 35th year. The journey started then, but the love affair began a few years earlier with a tiny toy piano nestled in the corner of my parents' bedroom. That gift will always be connected with the giver and I will always be linked to my uncle because of it. My career, my passion, and my ministry began because of my uncle's musical gift. I can only hope that one day I'll learn that I have had the same lasting impact on someone like Uncle Sam has had on me.

Another Semester is in the Books

It's official! With the publication of this post, my last final of the semester has been administered and I only need to turn in grades in order to collect my last paycheck of the term at MSCC. I enjoy teaching, but this semester has been tough for many reasons. Needless to say, I'm ready to see the spring 2013 term of teaching in my rear view mirror!

The semester started with a blanket of snow. Here in Arkansas, when the sky spits any of the white stuff -- regardless of the amount -- people become stupid! They forget how to drive and dash for the market as if we are going to be trapped in our homes for 40 days and nights! Since we don't know how to handle the cold stuff, school was cancelled before we even got started. That's a tough situation to be in....behind schedule before you begin!

Around the same time, I was working very hard with the students at Union University to present the semester's first opera as part of the Benjamin Britten centennial celebration. I knew this was going to be a tough time, so I built calendars carefully to allow for the rehearsals and performances. What I didn't account for was the Union Plague that hit members of the cast during production week. I was blessed not to be hit with the nasty stomach virus, but I didn't feel well at all.  Classes were cancelled University wide while everyone tried to get back to health and the campus was scrubbed from floor to ceiling.

By late February, everything seemed to be back on track. Maybe I should say ALMOST everything was back on track. The most important part of my classroom was waffling -- the students. Each spring semester, I have concurrent students from area high schools enroll in my music appreciation course. Most classes have been very successful and a great experience. This year's batch of students did not fit that model. I found myself questioning why they were there. Finally I diagnosed the problem: intense senior-itis. These kids didn't understand why they had to come to my class on "senior skip days" or why my class was so hard! I listened to the whining, but quickly became immune.

The semester rolled on at Union as well and I was involved with two very successful student recitals as well as a trip to the regional NATS competition in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Once I played the last of these major events, I began to relax a little. I knew I only had to play a few scenes for opera workshop, a couple of departmental recitals, and student boards before the semester was over. Just when I thought everything was a-okay, I found myself fighting the stomach bug that had plagued the Union students earlier in the term. After a "rough" and restless night, I drove to Union (like the good collaborative pianist should) to play on the afternoon's departmental recital. I had felt nauseous during the entire drive, but thought things would be okay. I WAS WRONG! I stepped into the hall when a wave of sickness hit me and I thought I was going to pass out.....after making a massive mess in the hall! After a visit to the restroom to calm my stomach, I went to the music office and was able to get colleagues to play for my students. I certainly didn't want to be on stage at the moment. I feared the real show would not have been the beauty of the students' singing!

As the semester continued to wind down, I repeatedly found myself approached by students asking for extra credit work or to turn in assignments they had neglected earlier in the term. I think I heard every excuse in the book, but my favorite was from a high school senior who told me her scholarship for the fall was dependent upon her grade point average this semester. While I felt sorry for her, I did not feel as though her reasons for missing the assignments afforded her any extension. I guess I've just turned into a mean professor in my old age. Syllabi are distributed at the beginning of the course with all assignments listed with their corresponding due dates. Follow the syllabus, do the work, and come to class....you'll do just fine in my class! That's all it takes!

This has been a semester for the history books....and that's definitely where I'm planning to place it as soon as I can! Now I'm heading home to grade the final exams and post the scores so I can get on to a much needed vacation.....until summer term begins in a few weeks.  I'm just hoping for more focused students in that term!

If It Ain't Broke.....

Change is sometimes necessary. It breathes new life into old ideas. Change reveals better ways of accomplishing tasks. It stretches our imaginations as well as our perspectives of what is possible. Given all of the positive aspects of change, why do we fight against it so much?

This weekend, I attended the Metropolitan Opera's HD broadcast of Verdi's Rigoletto.  This piece holds a special place in my heart as it was one of the earliest operas I explored on my own. I was excited to see a wonderful production by one of the world's leading opera companies.  Somehow I had missed the  fact that director Michael Mayer had reset the opera in the Las Vegas desert of the 1960s. As I watched, I was enthralled by the lights and the creativity brought to the stage. I had to admit that the shift of era and locale worked, but the simple fact was that I did not like it! I wanted my Verdi in its traditional guise! The Duke of Mantua as a sleazy lounge lizard was simply too much of a stretch for me.

As I contemplated my reaction, I began to question why I embrace change in some areas while fighting against it in others. When it comes to music, I am very much a traditionalist. I welcome change in procedures in the office (especially when useless redundancy is eliminated). I don't want to do things in the same order in my class or worship service, but I revel in the stability of checklists. I am intrigued by new techniques in the visual arts, but don't ask me to sit through an avant-garde concert that sounds like rubbish to my ears.

I suppose I'm like most people. There are areas of my life that I want to see remain constant and familiar while I'm open to new ideas in others. I'm challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone and explore the possibilities that change can bring. I'm not going to turn anything completely on its ear right away, but I'm hoping to be more open to it at least. Small steps, after all, lead to major changes and exciting journeys.

The Marathon is Almost Over!

For the past two weeks, my life has been consumed with Music Camp 2012 at Abundant Grace Ministries in Collierville.  The first show was successfully performed last night, so it's no wonder that on this Saturday morning the entire process is on my mind.

This year's show is "The Amazing Grace Race" by Celeste Clydesdale.  The imagery of the race parallels that of the apostle Paul in 2 Timothy and is also a good description of the production process itself.  Unless you have been involved in directing some type of theatrical production or other large-scale event, you may not truly understand what is involved.

What the public sees is the sprinting aspect of the Camp: two weeks devoted to teaching kids choreography, staging, and fixing musical problems in order to put the show on stage.  I have encountered many people who think this is when all of the real work is done.  It's true that this is the most physically demanding time in the production, but by no means the hardest work.  Creative and administrative preparation has been going on for months in advance of the first session of Camp.

Music Camp (and all theatrical productions) are marathons.  Planning begins months in advance and the director lives with the material, mentally envisioning the staging and attempting to recognize potential pitfalls before they occur in rehearsals with actors.  (The LAST thing you want to do in any production -- especially one with such a short rehearsal time -- is make numerous changes with your actors.  The result is always confusion and frustration for those attempting to bring the script to life!)  What no one sees are the numerous paper sketches in folders at home of stage movement, sets, and props.  They miss the readings (which would be quite funny to observe) in my office, deciding which lines need the greatest emphasis.  Absolutely no one is around when I begin to walk through each character's staging, deciding which actions are essential to my interpretation of the story, which would be nice to include if possible, and which are more trouble than they are worth!  Why is no one around?  They would send for the men in white coats!  I look incredibly unstable while walking through these scenes.  This year, these processes started back in February after finally settling on the musical we would present.  The selection process began back in December, 2011.

Now that I'm into the performance dates, Camp is simply a jog to the finish.  I've done the prep work, the children have been thoroughly equipped, and the volunteer staff have been lead as best I could.  Now it's time to simply reach the finish line.  I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning's final performance with both anticipation and a touch of sadness.  I really do enjoy working with these kids and we have had a lot of fun together -- MOSTLY-- but I'm ready to get some rest physically and mentally!

What happens after the show closes?  There will be a bit of work to return the stage to a church sanctuary and follow-up notes to send to staff and students.  Then I'm off for a much-needed vacation before diving in again and beginning to plan for the crew's next production.  It's sad to admit, but before this show even ends, there are already ideas buzzing around in my head regarding what we can do next.  Some would say I need professional help!  I just say that I'm addicted to the joy of watching kids develop their skills and using their talents in the ministry of their local church.

A Portion of Route 66!

In 1994, I was first introduced to the vocal arrangement of Route 66 by the Manhattan Transfer and fell in love with the song all over again.  I suppose part of my connection to the song was due to the fact that the historic route paralleled my annual journey to and from college. 

Today I found myself traveling those familiar roads once again as I made a last minute trip to Oklahoma City.  All alone in a car, I thoroughly enjoyed the time to meditate, pray, sing, and listen to a book on CD.  Mostly, I found myself remembering lots of great friends and laughter that accompanied me along Route 66 over the years.  A wonderful roommate who helped me drive a junk pile cross country....and didn't complain TOO much when the engine overheated in the New Mexico desert.  A fraternity brother who accompanied me on an insane round-the-clock drive to OKC (and me into Memphis alone) to surprise our families during the Thanksgiving holidays.  A funny red-head that kept me in stitches when it finally came time to leave the security of southern California and face the difficulties of graduate school. 

With such wonderful memories, why would I ever want to leave the splendor of Route 66? Here's a great video of the song that holds a special place in my heart for many reasons.

On the Run

It's been a busy week!  Who am I kidding.....my life has been extremely busy for the past few months, but I don't want to dwell in the past.  Just got home from Texas a few hours ago.  My parents and I visiting family in Conroe, Texas was the "official" reason for the trip;  my second performance with the Collage ensemble was an excellent side benefit.

Collage is an ensemble spear-headed by Jere Douglas, an exceptional clarinetist in Houston.  Jere and I met last year during the inaugural performance in the series.  Since we enjoyed working together, we opted to present another recital this summer.....and that was just performed last night to rave reviews from our audience.  The program featured sonatas by Poulenc and Saint-Saens in addition to works by Schubert, Schumann, Vaughn Williams, Finzi, and Barber.  Discussions are already under way for another recital in the Houston area with repertoire by Barber and Beethoven.  (Could it be an all "B" night?  Who knows?)

Since I knew I would be in rehearsals with Jere daily while in the Houston area, I persuaded by parents to travel by plane this year instead of driving to our destination.  The roadtrip is roughly an 11-hour adventure that ends in total exhaustion.  My mother was the one I really had to convince since she has never been a fan of air travel.  As we drove home today from the airport, I asked if she would consider flying again.  You can't imagine how elated I was when I heard her reply of "YES!"  (As a side note, Mom had already begun investigating other locales serviced by Southwest Airlines.  The one that has her most excited?  VEGAS, BABY!)

Summer school starts in a week, so I need to finalize my syllabus this week.  However, I learned on Wednesday afternoon that I am needed in Oklahoma City for an audition on Monday morning.  I'll provide more details about this later -- right now, I want to keep things under wraps.  Sadly, there are no economical airfares that fit my schedule tomorrow, so I'll set out on Interstate 40 tomorrow afternoon immediately after the morning services at Abundant Grace Ministries in Collierville, Tennessee.  It's been several years since I've made a major road trip and I am surprisingly looking forward to the journey, yet dreading it all at the same time.  Oh well......at least I'll have some new stories from the road!

Revisiting a Childhood Favorite

In just a few weeks, I will begin rehearsing with the cast of Germantown High School's production of The Secret Garden.  I have mixed emotions about the musical for various reasons.  I have read the book that the show is based upon and have always loved it.  However, I always thought that it was a bit dark and could not imagine how effective it would be as a musical.  Additionally, only a few songs of the score ever grabbed my attention -- specifically "Lily's Eyes" and "How Could I Ever Know."

This will be the first musical I will be involved with since my undergraduate work in which I will simply be a rehearsal pianist.  Since that time, I have always had a leadership role and have normally served as the musical director.  This will be an interesting experience to play a show without having the responsibility of shaping the musical direction of the show.  Honestly, I'm looking forward to getting back to my roots at the keyboard without carrying such a heavy burden.

I picked up the score yesterday and have begun the process of learning the music before going to the rehearsals in two weeks.  The students are already learning the vocals and the choreography.  When I come in, I will be playing as they begin to put the disparate parts of the show together.  Since the only thing I know at this point is that we are working on Act I on the first night, I just have to learn all the notes of the show.  I must admit that I was rather surprised today as I realized how many of the pieces are rather difficult reductions for the piano.  I knew there would be a few passages here and there, but this show is simply tough to play!  I will have my hands full for the next few weeks, but I am looking forward to the challenge and the experience....and who can complain about the extra money and the prospect of future gigs with the high school.  Lots of fun days are ahead at the piano as I prepare for my first night with The Secret Garden.

2010 in Review - Part I

As the year draws to a close, many are reflecting over their experiences, successes, failures, and blessings.  Others are looking forwarding to the new year and all the possibilities that it holds.  I'm no different and I decided to take you on the journey of reflection with me.

I have always enjoyed New Year's Resolutions.  Like many people, my resolutions were often left in the dust by mid-February each year.  Last year, a very wise friend told me to change my view of resolutions and see them as "dreams with deadlines."  Additionally, he challenged me to divide my life into various arenas (spiritual, professional, etc) and come up with a set of resolutions for each.  By realizing that these were nothing more than dreams, they never became a source of guilt or stress;  rather, my resolutions for 2010 served as guiding goals to keep me on track.  Each morning, I have seen this list of 10 resolutions taped to the mirror in my bedroom.  Over the next few days, I will reflect on my experiences in each area and let you know how I did with each of my resolutions.

Without further ado, here are the 10 resolutions that guided my actions during the year 2010.

1. Submit an article for journal publication.
2. Perform a chamber recital.
3. Complete 4 Bible studies/ministry studies.
4. Read through the entire Bible.
5. Travel to one U.S. city I have never visited.
6. Schedule one event each week for my personal enjoyment/relaxation.
7. Lose 20 pounds.
8. Journal at least twice each week.
9. Complete one cross-stitch project.
10. Read 52 books (the equivalent of one per week).

Before we begin, I will freely admit that I did NOT accomplish all of my goals that I laid out in my resolutions.  I am very proud to say, however, that I did take steps toward accomplishing each of these to some degree.  Let's begin by taking a look at each resolution individually and seeing how things turned out.

1.  Submit an article for journal publication.  Right away, we come to a resolution that did not get accomplished this year.  I have several drafts of various papers written, but nothing quite went the direction I intended or I ended up in territory about which I was unqualified to authoritatively speak.  I have learned more about the process and the timetable that I need to follow in order to complete an article.

On a side note, however, the pursuit of journal publication shifted slightly in the summer to establishing a blog about music.  My blog Collaborations is still rather young and has faced some difficult times (especially as the fall semester came to a close), but I have been very pleased with the positive feedback I have received from respected colleagues in the field.  I anticipate that 2011 will see a heavy emphasis in the return of quality blogging in my resolution list.

2.  Perform a chamber recital.  It may be appropriate to call 2010 the year of the recital for me.  I presented a total of 7 recitals this year in 5 states.  In addition to the classical recitals, I also served as musical director of Crittenden Youth Theater's Spring production of Pinocchio.  Not to be left out, my church job had its fair share of performances this year as well -- including a very successful Kidz Music Camp using the musical Livin' Inside Out in an Upside World and the adult choral production of The Reason for Christmas. 

Of all of the performing, three engagements stand out in my mind.  In May, I traveled to Houston, Texas to collaborate for the first time with clarinetist Jere Douglas.  Jere has become a valued friend and colleague;  I look forward to our next musical endeavor together in May, 2011.

I have directed Kidz Music Camp for several years now and feel very confident in my ability to produce a quality show while ensuring that the students have a good time.  This year's show was probably my favorite experience ever.  The students were joyful, the music and choreography was fun, and the ministry was authentic and of eternal significance.  There can be no greater combination.

Finally, the last recital of the year with Marty Bishop in Jonesboro ranks as one of the best musical experiences of the year.  As I mentioned in my review of the recital over on Collaborations, Marty is a gifted musician who doesn't forget the value of friendship and kindness.  The music was good;  the experience of making music was enjoyable -- the perfect way to end the year's music making.

3.  Complete 4 Bible studies/ministry studies.  I missed the goal a bit here, but I completed 3 of them.  The year began with an online study of Christian Education Philosophy.  I completed the study, but don't anticipate doing another online class anytime soon.  The other participants were not terribly active in the discussion, so I was left to my own resources much of the time.

The other Bible studies that I completed were very personal and spoke directly to me at crucial times of the year.  My mother and I formed a "small group" (if you can call it that with only 2 participants!) in our home and completed two of Beth Moore's studies:  Esther and Daniel.  Yes, I am fully aware that these studies were intended for a female audience, but I cannot begin to express how mightily these Bible studies spoke truth and challenges into my heart.  Of these two, my favorite was Daniel hands down!  Mom got a few weeks behind due to some eye infections so I'm still getting to review and digest this challenging material. 

The Bible study bug has bitten hard in the Freeman family.  We are already planning our next "small group" study beginning in February and are adding a few more members to our circle.  We'll be starting out with another Beth Moore study:  Jesus, the One and Only.  I'm already getting excited to dive into the depths of the life of Christ early in the new year.  (If you're interested in how we are pulling off the family small group without breaking the bank, let me know.....I'll be happy to share.)

Tomorrow, I'll pick up with resolution #4 on my list......

The Rest of the Story....

No need to fear; I am not channeling Paul Harvey!  At the end of a busy, emotional, and exhausting Monday, I truly know that my mini-vacation is officially over.  I am not entirely ready to let it go, so I will give you the rest of the details of my trip to Branson, Missouri.

On Friday morning, I began the day quite late and headed to Silver Dollar City.  I expected a small-scale theme park that was unable to compete with the larger parks I have visited.  What I discovered is a charming park that is content with its own identity without attempting to compete with any other place.  While not filled with spectacular thrill rides, Silver Dollar City has a certain charm that was relaxing and exactly the experience that I needed.  And I can't forget to mention the amazing taffy that I bought;  I just finished off the last of it tonight (and I haven't decided yet if that's a GOOD thing or a BAD thing). 

I left the park a few hours later than I intended, so I wasn't certain I would be able to get tickets for a show that evening, but I decided to give it a try.  When I walked into the discount sales center, I was a bit shocked when they laughed at my request.  Now I realize just how funny my introduction must have been.  "I want to see a show tonight and need some suggestions.  Let me tell you what I don't want though:  no country music at all and nothing that is completely driven by the music."  What else is there in Branson?  My request shouldn't be that unexpected to some of you.  I wanted to get as far away as I could from everything that was stressful in my life at the time - that included my work in the musical field.

To my delight, the ticket agent had a wonderful suggestion:  the Chinese acrobats of the Shanghai Circus.  Even though I was late for the show due to Branson's heavy traffic, I was mesmerized by the dazzling display of skill and artistry that I experienced.  I won't go into too much detail about the show here as it is going to be the basis for my next blog on Collaborations. 

Saturday morning, I got up to get everything packed away for the trip home.  Before leaving I was to have lunch with a dear friend who is now living north of Branson.  The food and the company was wonderfully insightful, uplifting, and encouraging.  All in all, my lunch plans at Fuddrucker's was a fitting end to a great vacation.

I don't know when or where, but I am confident that another mini-vacation will be in my future.  It lowered my stress level, renewed my creativity, and enabled me to come home with new-founded vision and drive. 

The Importance of Rests

Much of my life is filled with music. Notes stream across the page, bringing with them their beautiful melody and harmony. Piano lessons are filled with attention to the notes and the details that accompany them. Performers spend much of their rehearsal time focusing on the most difficult note passages. Music, however, is made up of much more than just notes.

In order to give each phrase its rise and fall, rests must be included in the music. These moments of silence are essential to the piece's success. These carefully planned periods of respite allow the pianist's hand to prepare for the next passage, the audience's ear to awaken with anticipation to the sound possibilities that will follow, and the singer's lungs to quickly fill with a new supply of air.

Periods of rest are important in our individual lives as well. After a period of intense activity, it is necessary to pause and allow the body to recuperate. Equally important, these quiet times also permit emotions to heal and creativity to be replenished. As one breathes deeply, the heart is strengthened and the Spirit prepares to soar once more.

In masterworks of music, rests are given diligent attention and vary in their duration. In order for life to be a masterpiece, the same attention must be given to personal rest; we must consistently evaluate the length of rest that is needed in order to re-enter the symphony of life's melody with the most beautiful tone.

During the rest, thoughts turn inward and take on a highly reflective nature. This is an opportunity to consider the success of the most recent melody and to begin preparing for the next entrance. Just as a musician must be careful not to become too comfortable in extended rests -- which can result in a missed entrance -- so we must monitor our personal periods of rest. With careful attention, we gather our strength and prepare for the new melody that our Composer has in store for us.

I'm looking forward to the new melody that will begin in my life, but right now I'm choosing to enjoy the beauty found in the rest!

Feet

At the beginning of the final week of preparation before Music Camp begins, my feet are primarily on my mind. Choreography that needs to be taught isn't done, so I'm doing a lot of moving these days. My feet are giving me fits as a result; old injuries are coming back to haunt me. I still don't understand how I managed to incur a severe sprain playing flag football during a fraternity rush event (followed by 6 weeks on crutches in the hills of Malibu) or how I broke my right ankle playing with the kids in children's ministries one Sunday morning while no one else was around. Wait....I'm seeing a common theme here. No one is around and there is some level of athleticism involved. Not a good mix for me! Add to the image my recent attempts to become healthy again by running without having the proper shoes--you guessed it, another injury to my foot (right heel this time).

Despite the aching feet, I am praying that I also have beautiful feet at the moment. Isaiah 52:7 says, "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who brings good news, the good news of peace and salvation, the news that the God of Israel reigns!" (NLT) I have tried to remind myself today that the reason I devote my time, energy, and creativity to this annual event is to share with children the truth of God's Word and that He desires to make an impact on their life personally. His presence throughout the day has been so special during my preparation; for that, I am incredibly thankful! I pray that I will have beautiful feet in the coming weeks as I share the gospel of Christ with boys and girls through music and the Word and that children will respond to the truth they hear.

Luke 7 contains one of my favorite passages from the Bible. Here we read of a sinful woman finding her way to the feet of Jesus and pouring expensive oil over His feet as an act of worship. She brought the very best that she had--what others considered a waste of resources that could be used more effectively elsewhere--and poured it over the Master's feet. By doing so, she acknowledged that Christ alone was worthy of such an extravagant gift. Next week, some may view my investment of time as a waste. After all, they are only children. These precious ones are the ones that I have been called to serve. May my ministry next week be the very best that I have to offer in all areas and may I humbly place these at the feet of my Savior in an act of worship and praise, for "I've come to pour my praise on Him like oil from Mary's alabaster box!"

What is Talent?

Tonight I watched the premiere of America's Got Talent on NBC. Of all the talent competitions on television these days, this is the only one that I can bring myself to watch. Idol has become a joke to me--judges of a singing competition have to be versed in the field of music rather than just knowing what they like--and So You Think You Can Dance? is an attempt to elevate contemporary dance in a society that does not value the art form. I watch AGT for a couple of reasons. First, it runs in the summer and there really is not much else airing. Second, and more importantly, the show does not define the area of talent. Singers are competing with comics, dance teams, and circus acts.

As I watched tonight's episode, I was amazed at how often the unusual--dare I say, weird--was equated with talent. Yes, I watch people drill objects through their body, but not out of respect for their skills. Rather, I'm watching with a morbid curiosity of when is something going to go horribly wrong. Most of the time I was viewing the competition, I was wondering who told these people they were talented. Sadly, it often falls on the shoulders of loved ones who rarely have qualifications to determine whether or not they are good in their chosen performance area.

Talent is more than an natural inclination toward something. I enjoy doodling, but if anyone calls my drawings a great talent, I must tell them they are lying! Some of you have seen my stick figures recently....it's quite embarrassing to say the least. In my line of work, I often come across children who have some natural connection with music. They are naturally rhythmic or they easily process the printed notes on the page. Does that mean they are talented? I don't think so; it just means that they have a skill set that makes some aspect of the task easier than others.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines "talent" as "a marked innate ability, as for artistic accomplishment; natural endowment or ability of a superior quality." I think this definition provides two aspects of the word talent that are often overlooked: "marked" and "superior quality." Just because a child can play the piano does not mean they are talented; they must display a superior ability, markedly greater than that of their peers. If anyone is going to claim that my sketches are the sign of talent, they need to be among the best that are seen in my immediate world. (Let the onslaught begin; I am certain that many of you will disagree with me and say that my expectations are too high. That's your opinion, but this blog is where I get to express mine whether you agree or not.)

Why is our world so full of people who think they are talented when the product they present does not measure up? Immediately, I have to assume that they have been told by a parent or family member that they have great skill. Why? The only thing I can possibly understand is that the comments are intended to be a source of encouragement and positive re-enforcement. Those are desirable outcomes to breathe into the lives of those we love, but not at the expense of setting them up for future failure and hurt. I would much rather see a child enjoy the pursuit of music for the pleasure of the experience rather than trying to live up an unrealistic expectation of extraordinary talent in the field.