Why do I remain quiet if I truly enjoy great conversation? Over the years, I have learned that there are a few necessary steps for me to take in order to make comments that contribute to the overall discussion.
- Listen deeply. Far too often, I fear that people begin to express their ideas without being fully aware of the issues that are being discussed. When someone fails to truly listen in a conversation, the topic is often diverted to tangential subjects that misdirect the discussion and results in lots of unrelated threads of thought.
- Think before you speak. While listening carefully, it is also important to organize your thoughts. In some situations it is perfectly fine to work out your thoughts in the course of the conversation. Most of the time, a well thought-out response is more concise and leads to more dialogue.
- Wait for the right moment. Just because you have an opinion does not mean that it needs to be expressed the moment it is conceived. By waiting for a moment, you allow others to contribute to the conversation as well. If they share your opinion, it may not be necessary to comment immediately -- thus allowing you the opportunity to speak on a later issue without appearing to dominate the discussion. If your thought is not expressed, waiting momentarily lets you appear confident and willing to listen to other ideas as well.
- Hear the responses to your contribution. This is what conversation is all about, after all! Rather than simply beginning to think of your next rebuttal, it is vital that you actively listen to the responses coming from those you are debating. In my opinion, a great conversationalist will actually spend more time listening and considering ideas than actually talking.
No comments:
Post a Comment