My most recent road trip took me to Guymon, Oklahoma. Guymon is a small town in the Oklahoma Panhandle, not far from the Kansas border. As I was driving in, I learned that this area of the Midwest is quite beautiful and sparsely populated. The rolling hills of green were only interrupted by mesa formations (think of New Mexico, just on a smaller scale). The natural beauty is enhanced by the many ranches featuring cattle, horses, and various other animals. I truly felt like I was returning to the Wild West! While I appreciated the views, I'm not entirely sure I'd want to live here for very long.
I also learned that an Oklahoma thunderstorm is no joke! Once safely at my hotel, I grabbed my keys to get the last few things out of my car. I opened the door and saw sheets of rain with enormous gusts of wind. This storm had popped up with little warning in less than five minutes! I'm thinking this might be a troublesome storm; the hotel staff informed me that this was normal and no reason for concern. Sure enough, the storm passed as quickly as it blew in.
Lastly, I learned that I have a sensitivity to artificial sweetener on this road trip. How did I learn this? Well, that's a story that most of you will find extremely funny. Take my advice now and put your beverage down. You'll thank me later.
Once I made it to Tulsa, I had a bad case of the munchies. I didn't want to gorge myself with chocolate because I still had several hours of driving ahead of me. I opted for a package of Twizzlers. Once I got to the car, I noticed that this bag of red licorice was sugar free. Great! I had made a responsible decision without realizing it.
The miles passed as I chomped on the red ropes. Before I knew what had happened, I had eaten the entire bag. That's when I noticed the warning printed on the back of the product: "Persons with sensitivity to artificial sweetener may experience a laxative effect." Ok, that's not what I wanted to hear, but how bad could it really be? This is candy, after all...right?
Remember what I said about the Panhandle? It's sparsely populated. Nothing around. No gas stations. No porcelain thrones. As the miles passed, a mounting desperation was growing in the pit of my stomach. Just as I am contemplating finding relief on the shoulder of the road, I see a gas station! Hallelujah! At first, I feared I was hallucinating! As it drew closer, I knew relief was coming soon.
Imagine my frustration when I stepped inside only to find the bathrooms were closed for cleaning! Back to my car I (carefully) go. My foot became heavier than usual as I raced for the hotel some 10 miles away. I have never been so happy to see a hotel lobby with clearly marked signs in all my life. I was also thankful that I hadn't consumed a lot of food on this road trip (other than the offensive Twizzlers, that is).
I'll spare you the remaining details, but let's just say that the rest of the evening was very "eventful" and raucous! And THAT'S how I learned I have a sensitivity to artificial sweeteners. Now, aren't you glad you didn't read this while you had a drink in your hand? :)
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