How Can I Help?

Sometimes the simplest words convey the greatest meaning. On a particularly bad evening recently, a beloved friend asked the simple question "How can I help?" She is thousands of miles away. My problem doesn't directly effect her. Without even knowing what was going on, her immediate response was offering assistance. Four simple words turned my entire night around and allowed me to see that I wasn't in this alone.

I wonder how many stressful situations could be lightened for many people by just hearing this simple question. Of course, there is an additional requirement; when the way you can help is made clear, follow through if it is within your capabilities. I have no doubt that Andrea would have done anything within her power to help me; she's an amazing friend who has proven her commitment to me over and over.

I have stopped asking for help in many situations. Some people assume it's because I don't want help. Let me clearly put that theory to rest:  I want help.....I need help.....or else I wouldn't be asking. Why don't I ask then? Honestly, I get tired of being rejected. There's only so many times I can take asking for help and being told "no." I understand that we all have times in our life when things do not allow us to provide assistance to a friend. I also understand that these situations are generally the exception and not the rule. When you consistently tell me "no", I am hearing some unspoken messages:

• I don't value you PERSONALLY worthy of the investment of my time.
• I don't value your EFFORTS worthy of the investment of my time.
• I can't be BOTHERED by your petty requests.

Sometimes when help is offered off the cuff, there is really nothing to be done because I've already handled it. That doesn't mean I don't want to be helped. Truthfully, I didn't expect any help.....so I just did what had to be done to get the job done. If I didn't do the work, I'd find myself frantically pushing at the last minute to make sure it got done.

Why is it so hard for me to accept help? I've been let down too many times. When you've been burned, disappointed, and rejected so much, it really becomes hard to trust.

For better or worse, whether you like the feelings and thoughts I've expressed here.....it's where I am at the moment and it's just me Livin' Life one day at a time.