Father Figures

I've been thinking about the concept of fathers this week. No need to worry....I don't have an announcement to make! As I have looked at our society, I see how important the role is. Is it feasible that some of the problems people face today is because they lacked a strong father figure in their own life? As I thought about the spiritual implications, it seems that our relationship with the Heavenly Father often reflects our interaction with our natural father. That puts a lot of responsibility on any man who plans to be called "father."

What are the responsibilities of a father? I'm not a father, so obviously I'm coming at this from the perspective of a child only. Here are some of the things that have been in my thoughts this week.

• Example and Teacher. A father models many roles that will play out in their children's future life. Want to have a good guess about the type of man a girl will be drawn to and consider marrying? Look at her father.  How will a boy treat his future wife? He'll tend to follow the example of his father's interaction with his mother. Fathers also teach children the value of hard work and strength tempered with gentleness.
• Protector. A child's sense of safety is often linked to the presence of Dad. A father is to protect his children from all threats -- whether they are real or imagined. A father who fails to protect his children through neglect or abuse is setting them up for difficulties in trusting others and believing that they are worthy of being safe. (As a side note, I personally feel that there are few crimes that are more heinous than abuse against a child in any form --- physical, emotional, or verbal. I believe these men are among the vilest creatures who deserve the maximum punishment allowed by our courts!)
• Affirming. Sadly, it seems that this responsibility is often left solely to the mother. Moms naturally provide encouragement to their children as they rejoice over their successes and help them get up after failures. Children desperately want to hear from their father that he's proud of them. This means that the father must be attentive to the child's interest and be informed about how things work.  In other words, if your daughter is taking ballet lessons, it will go a long way if Dad knows the difference between a pirouette and a tutu!  
• Involved. "Actions speak louder than words." While your child longs to hear that you are proud of them, she also wants to spend time with you. This can be intimidating for a father who doesn't share common interest with the child.....and as the years go on, the chasm becomes wider. From a child's perspective, it's actually pretty simple. Take your elementary student outside on a Saturday morning and build something together or wash the car. Unexpectedly have a special treat for your pre-teen when dropping them off for school. Plop down on the couch with your teen and challenge them to a video game. Your involvement opens lines of communication that will be a blessing to the child in years to come.

What happens if a child misses out on these aspects of their father? There are no absolute guarantees, but I do see some potential problems spiritually. Children with absent dads (either physically or emotionally) can experience difficulty relating to God the Father. Those who have received little affirmation from Dad sometimes find themselves working so hard to gain God's approval. When the natural father didn't care enough to be involved in the child's life, it can be hard to believe that God would ever be interested in what's going on with me. 

What do you think are some of the most important characteristics of a father? If they are absent in a child's life, what might be some of the future implications emotionally or spiritually? Men, is there a child in your sphere of influence who needs a father figure in their life?  If so, consider stepping up and being a positive influence in their life!