Is It Possible to Be Too Cautious?

Last week, I planned to meet a man that I have known for several years through cyberspace. We both are members of a piano teacher's forum and have connected because we are two of the very few men in the group and both live in the South. He and his family were taking a road trip that led them through Memphis, and since I was here as well, we decided to meet briefly for coffee. (He would drink the coffee; I would have a Coke.)




On the day that we were to meet, we were in contact in the forum and settled on a place and time. I sent him a private message that included my cell phone number, letting him know that he could feel free to call or text if he got lost or was running late. What I assumed was a kind gesture led to a very long email that was essentially a lecture on how irresponsible I was to give out my phone number so easily to someone I had never met. He told me how necessary it was to be careful and that if we ended up meeting, I should know that he would be armed in order to guarantee his safety. To say I was a little shocked is putting it mildly. After I apologized for offending him (apparently), I got one last message telling me that the family's travel plans had changed and they would not be stopping as we had planned.




I am well aware of the importance of being cautious in our online activity. I have heard the horror stories of meeting someone you have met online in person only to have a disastrous result. Still, I find myself wondering if it is possible to take caution too far. At what point do we let our good sense and intuition guide us rather than succumbing to absolute fear? If we refuse to trust the goodness in people, we are potentially shutting ourselves off from healthy new relationships. Constant fear limits our ability to experience new adventure. Quite simply, when we constantly anticipate the worst in all situations and people, the outcome is crippling.


I have to wonder what was at work in my friend's life to cause him to be so untrusting. Was there a suspicion of technology at work? Was this simply a generational difference? (He is in his early 60s.) Had he recently heard frightening news stories about the area? Has he had a bad experience in the past with a similar situation? I don't know and doubt that I will every learn the truth. It appears that he has chosen to leave the piano forum.


Perhaps I am too naïve, but I choose to trust my instincts to guide me. I refuse to live in constant fear, always being suspicious of the intentions of other people. My views may change as I continue to age, but for now, I choose to live life without fear to the fullest!