Graduation Memories

May was the month of graduations across the country. If you are like me, your Facebook feed has been filled with pictures of happy graduates at all levels of their academic careers. My family had a special graduation this year as Kristian, my middle niece, ended her high school career and is now looking forward to continuing her studies at Mississippi State in the fall. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend Kristian's graduation because my back was still a mess and I wasn't able to walk very far, much less sit in the stands for the ceremony's duration. Even though I couldn't be there in person, another graduation in the family caused me to think back on my own experiences with these important milestones in life.


My high school graduation was a small affair. I attended West Memphis Christian School for the last three years of my high school career. I transferred from the local public school because my parents felt I was receiving an inferior education and there were questions about my physical safety in the hostile environment. When I entered WMCS, most of the sophomores had been together since kindergarten; the others were friends through the congregation that sponsored the school. I really didn't feel that I fit in anywhere. Everyone was nice enough and I made some friends there, but I always had my eyes on the next step -- college! Since I wasn't involved in too many extra curricular activities (or at least, I didn't think I was doing that much), I had plenty of time to study and maintain my grades. By the time graduation rolled around, I was the salutatorian of the class and had to give a speech as part of the ceremonies. All that I remember about that speech is that it included a quote from the Gettysburg address; the speech was drafted, edited, and polished under the supervision of my history teacher.  After graduation, there wasn't a big party -- we were a Christian school, after all -- so I met a small group of classmates at the local Shoney's for a midnight meal together.


Five years later, I had a far different experience. I marched along with some of my best friends through the grass of Pepperdine's Alumni Park overlooking the Pacific Ocean. These had been the best years of my life and I certainly wasn't ready to leave. We had faced many challenges together -- fire, flood, earthquake, and the wind that was whipping across the park at that moment -- and had managed to survive together. What few others knew at that moment was that I wasn't receiving my degree that year. I still had to overcome my struggles with German and was in a battle with the music department that I wasn't sure exactly how it would turn out. (Long story short.....I failed my senior recital hearing because of repertoire that was too difficult for me and illness. Petitions to a department chair that hated me -- and who I personally didn't like very much either -- resulted in a stalemate that had escalated to the Offices of both the Provost and President. It wasn't a pretty time for me as a student or musician, but I was ultimately able to complete the recital the next year and finish the degree as the music department faced scrutiny from university administration.)


Graduate school brought totally different experiences. I didn't participate in graduation for my master's degree. I had just completed the required recital a few weeks before and was taking the compulsory exams to enter the DMA program the week before graduation. Walking in the ceremony just seemed anti-climatic to me, so I kept my focus on the big celebration that would come with the doctorate.


My final graduation took place on Saturday, May 9, 2009. It had already been an emotional weekend because my sister had left an abusive marriage the day before; she and her two children were with us as we nursed their physical and emotional scars. Following the graduation ceremony, I had responsibilities at my church job for the annual Ladies' Tea. While there were obviously other things on my mind, I knew that I wanted to focus on the hooding ceremony and celebrate my accomplishment that I thought would never actually happen. I walked into the FedEx Forum in Memphis with my mentor and sat in the front row of graduates. Somehow, things had worked out that I would be the first student to be hooded in the ceremony. My name was called and I confidently began my stroll to the stage. As I began to climb the short staircase to the platform, the toe of my shoe somehow got caught in the hem of my robe and I went DOWN! There's no other way to say it -- I was flat on my face in front of this enormous crowd. Thankfully, I wasn't injured. As I got up and made my way to the stage to get that blasted degree -- I had suffered enough with Queer Theory, my committee, and my dissertation! I was going to get that diploma if I had to CRAWL on stage -- the President, Shirley Raines, made a comment that the first step is always the most dangerous. My face is very close to the color of the pink hood in my graduation photos. One thing is certain though. That is a graduation experience I will never forget!