Too Little, Too Late?

Have you ever been involved in a situation that completely destroyed a relationship? It might have come at the hands of a close friend, a family member, or a business associate. Now imagine that the person returned at a later time in an effort to make amends. There are times that the relationship can be restored. But I'm wondering if there is a point where the hurt is too deep and the relationship has been broken too long that makes reconciliation impossible? Is there a time where it is truly too little, too late?

I've struggled with this question at various times in my life. One of the first things I have to address is whether having irreconcilable differences implies a lack of forgiveness? Over the years, I have come to think that reconciliation and forgiveness do not always occur at the same time. I may have honestly forgiven someone for the pain they brought into my life while also admitting that I have not observed a significant change in their attitude or behavior that assures me the destruction will not reappear. In those cases, I think it would be foolish to reconcile too quickly; this becomes a matter of self-preservation. I know the damage that has been caused and that I am not ready to allow a repeat performance to occur.

I like to think that I am also older, wiser, and more cautious. I have learned from past experience to see warning signs in interactions with others that suggest hurt is on the way. Some may ask how I can determine that the other person has not changed without giving them a chance to prove me wrong. My answer is that a lack of trust on my part would not be beneficial to either party. By admitting that I am not convinced the situation would be any different, I am effectively saying I am not at a place where I am ready to risk being hurt again. When it all comes down to it, I have to take steps to protect my emotional health at all costs.

Sometimes I think the most important reason for declaring a situation "too little, too late" is that I have already found peace with the situation and moved on. I have developed other relationships that are encouraging me and bringing me fulfillment. Why would I ever consider leaving a peaceful setting in order to return to past hurts and memories?

Yep.....there are times that we simply have to say that it is "too little, too late."