Why I Joined a Fraternity

In the spring of 1994, I was a senior at Pepperdine University. As the semester began, I found myself pledging a local fraternity, Lambda Omega Sigma (now aligned with the national organization Psi Upsilon). I was asked by many why I was joining a fraternity at that point in my career. I was accused of attempting to buy friends, looking for a constant party, and lacking self-confidence. Now that I'm nearly 20 years removed from that decision, I still find that my choice to pledge a fraternity was one of the best decisions I made during my undergraduate career.

Joining a fraternity made me part of something much bigger than myself. Those outside a Greek organizations mock the use of the term "brothers" to describe the membership. In my experience, the fraternity positioned me to form relationships with like-minded men who were facing similar challenges. Many of these relationships grew into lifelong friendships upon which I depend to this day. When I find myself in trouble or depression, my fraternity brothers are among the first that I turn to for support -- often before turning to my biological family.

I was fortunate to observe from the beginning that my fraternity experience did not have to end with my graduation. I witnessed men who maintained an appropriate level of involvement in the group as alumni, continuing to develop friendships with younger members. These alumni became mentors for those who followed them; what I would later learn is that the alumni are also challenged and encouraged by the very ones they are attempting to influence.

Opportunities abounded in the fraternity setting. As a member of Lambdas, I was part of a team building homes in some of the poorest regions of Mexico. I was involved in repair work at an Indian reservation in Arizona and fed the homeless on the streets of Los Angeles. My leadership and organization skills were developed as well. I was given the task of directing 50 peers in an annual song and dance competition and was a member of the team that evaluated national organizations when a transition was mandated. While I had leadership opportunities outside of the fraternity, the frequency and support was greater because I was a member of Lambdas. I learned more about myself than I thought possible.

Lastly, I learned a great deal about communication within the fraternity. When a group of guys are spending lots of time together, it is certain that conflict will arise. Through these disagreements, I learned how to speak my mind clearly while respecting the differing views of those I cared for. I didn't always communicate things perfectly; I still don't. I have learned to be more considerate of the feelings of others and to think about how I would like to be addressed in conflict. The reason that these skills were developed so clearly in the fraternity was that I had the added comfort of knowing that these men were my friends; even if they became angry with me, I had confidence that we could talk through things and come to a mutually acceptable outcome.

These are certainly not all of the benefits I gained from my years as an active member of Lambda Omega Sigma, but these are some that have had the greatest impact on my personal development. Because of the profound impact the fraternity has had on me over the years, I continue to be actively involved in the organization as an alumnus. Next Friday, I'll look at the reasons that I continue my involvement with this group of men.

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