Things Happen for a Purpose

Beijing, China is hosting the World Conference of the International Society for Music Educators this week.  Early this year, I was invited to attend the conference as a guest artist with my collaborative partner.  Due to complications with my passport and my personal situation, I am not in China at this time.  My mood has gone from frustration to relief and finally to contentment.

Initially I was very frustrated when I realized I would not be attending the conference.  It is fairly obvious that it was a remarkable opportunity and one that would have looked wonderful on my resume.  After my most recent move from Los Angeles, I entrusted my passport with my parents for safe keeping.  It is quite safe now -- so much so that it cannot be found!  Frustrating, but not a huge problem.....or so I thought.

Once terrorist attacks occurred earlier this year in Moscow, the Chinese government demanded that visas be applied for immediately.  I didn't have a passport and was having difficulty obtaining one since I had listed China as my intended destination and my job was listed as "minister."  It quickly became clear that I would not be able to attend.

My frustration moved into relief rather quickly.  Without going into too much detail, I had not had pleasant travel experiences in the recent past and was not looking forward to a trip that would involve language barriers, unknown food issues, and traveling in groups.  I also felt at ease that I was not going.  I cannot fully explain why, but I never felt peaceful about the trip from the beginning.  No matter how much I tried to rationalize why I was going, in the back of my mind I knew that it was not the best situation for me.

I wanted a way out but did not want to disappoint my friend.  Honestly, I didn't want to deal with the conflict that would certainly ensue.  When the issue became a government problem, I knew that I had a legitimate reason without having to state -- again -- that I simply had no interest in visiting China.

Where am I now?  I'm in a good place!  I know that I made the right decision for me.  I am not currently in a financial bind as a result of a trip that I could not afford.  And I am experiencing opportunities here that I would have missed if I were on the other side of the world.  Was it the right decision?  While everyone is welcome to their personal opinions, there is only one of us that can truthfully give an authoritative answer.  For me and my situation, not going was the right decision.  I am certain that those who are in Beijing right now are having a wonderful time and are making memories that will last for a lifetime.  I'm making memories too -- and they are the right ones for me at this time in my life.