Reconnecting with Old Friends

Recently I have had several opportunities to reconnect with people from my past. Some have been coincidental encounters; others have been planned reunions. Most have occurred online although some have had the added element of personal contact. Seeing these names and faces from my past has brought a few things to mind. I have had a very good life thus far – not that I'm planning on seeing it end any time soon – and have developed relationships of different qualities throughout my life. I am noticing a few trends, though.
My closest friends – those that I communicate with on a fairly regular basis – come from two areas of my life: my undergraduate years of college and church relationships. As I watch one of my young friends begin her studies at Delta State University in Mississippi, I am reminded of the bonds and connections that were formed during my freshman year at Pepperdine. Those friendships continued throughout our time in Malibu and many continue to this day. I'm excited for Courtney – and also a little jealous; my undergraduate years hold some of my most treasured memories.
Church has always been an influencing aspect of my life. Living deep in the Bible Belt, the son of parents who were – and continue to be -- highly committed to their faith, I found myself attending weekly church services regularly as well as traveling around the South for various meetings and conferences. As a result, I had friends throughout the region that I looked forward to seeing every time we got together. Our interests were diverse. We were not all the same age. An outsider looking into the scene would never have expected us to have much in common. The basis of our friendship was our commitment to Christ and our desire to serve Him unfalteringly. Today, many of those friends now live throughout the country and we rarely see each other; when we do get together, though, you can be sure there are lots of smiles and celebrations. Personally, I am thankful that technology such as Facebook reunites us across the miles and brings us into each other's homes again on a regular basis.
As I thought about this blog, I anticipated that music would be a connecting force for me as well. Many of my closest friends are involved in music, but as I explored my graduate studies I realized that I didn't walk away with many close friends. Don't misunderstand – I did make friends and there are a handful of people who crossed my path while studying in Memphis that I consider treasured friends, they are just few and far between. (Many of those close friends from my graduate work also shared a common faith that was central to the friendship and those that I bonded with while traveling overseas). Why is this the case? I can only come up with two explanations at this point. These may have merely been my experiences, but I tend to think this may be common to graduate students around the world regardless of their discipline. First, the graduate study focused on developing our musical careers. We were spending more time developing professional relationships (networking) rather than deep, lasting friendships. Second, many musicians treasure relationships with those outside of the field. After performing such intensely emotional music, some performers simply want to get away from those with whom they make music. That's definitely one of the downsides to this profession. I personally fall into that category. I have found very few of my performance colleagues who are capable of separating the personal from the professional – and it has created rifts in relationships. Often when the two aspects are not separated, the result is the end of both relationships. I hate that fact, but that's just the way it is. That's another blog entirely though.
So, my dear friends, you are treasured. I do not use the term "friend" lightly. Thank you for the impact you have made on my life. You will probably never fully understand how special you are to me!