Withdrawals



It happens every year around this time. I start to experience withdrawals. It is like a drug. My mind races. Everywhere I look, I find that I am tempted to return to my addiction. It's in my blood and it just won't let go! What am I addicted to? Kids....and summer is the absolute worst time for me!


Much of my adult life has been spent working with kids in various ways.....in the church, in theater, in the schools. Summer was always the highlight of the year for me. Once school was out, kids were much more relaxed and ready to have fun. They were a joy to be around and I was always amazed at the things they could accomplish in a short period of time. Summer became a time of getting involved in community theater -- and I always managed to be surrounded by the children in the cast. Quickly, these summer musicals became planning sessions for youth theater productions. (I miss working with you, Daphne. We really did some good shows together, didn't we?)


Shortly after returning to Arkansas from Pepperdine, Jacqs appeared in my life. This 8-year-old girl was smart and active. Summers were full of activity -- whether we were zipping off to the Pink Palace Museum or to the local library -- we were always on the go. (I suppose this began as an effort to keep her mind off of the fact that her Daddy was away on a business trip shortly after moving back to Arkansas. Once we hit the road together, we became fast friends and the running never stopped.) As Jacqs grew into a teen, two other girls entered the scene -- Kristian and Sara -- and kept me just as busy. As I became more involved in the lives of my nieces, I also took on more and more responsibility in children's ministry.


My ministry to children became marked by the inclusion of musical and theater arts. Summers and Christmas generally involved the production of a song and dance extravaganza that we pieced together in just a few weeks. Before leaving bi-vocational ministry, I had produced and directed just over 20 of these children's musicals. I loved doing them because I got to combine my personal love of music and theater with my passion for the spiritual development of children. Few noticed that the musicals began when Jacqs got involved in the local church; the last one was completed just as Kristian and Sara were moving into the teen area. I pushed through some difficult circumstances in order to see the completion of the ministry to them.


Things have certainly changed for me. Jacqs has grown up, gotten married, and has a child of her own. Kristian will be graduating in a few days and Sara is not that far behind. I have fond memories of working with the girls and the other children that I was responsible for during those years. I miss the giggles and warm hugs that come from the children. Nothing is better than seeing a child's eyes light up with understanding and faith as they learn important truths and grow in their personal relationship with Jesus. My ministry passion will always be with children. I just struggle with the adults in their lives sometimes that bring words of discouragement and destruction into the life of ministry leaders.


So I continue to watch from a distance. I enjoy teaching piano lessons to a few children -- but it's just not the same. Occasionally, I get the urge to  return to children's ministry and see if things might turn out differently this time around....and then the fear of getting hurt again keeps me from taking the plunge. Now you see my struggle......I want to share fun, laughter, and truth with kids.....but I've got one too many scars to get past.