Here We Go Again

"History has a way of repeating itself." Have you ever heard that phrase? It's part of the reason we encourage students to study history. We hope to make a better future by avoiding yesterday's mistakes.

But what about our personal story? I'm realizing another truth these days...."His story has a way of repeating itself." I'm amazed that things that have caused me pain, hurt, and frustration in the past have a way of rearing their ugly heads just as my heart and spirit are finally beginning to heal. And that just causes more questions to swirl through my head. Is there something about me that attracts this pain? Have I failed to learn an important lesson somehow? Is there something wrong with me?

Before you get the wrong idea, I'm not in desperation. I'm going to be okay. I'm just too soft hearted and can be deeply hurt by insensitive people. (If you are wondering if you've hurt my feelings recently, I assure you the answer is "No." Trust me on that one. I'm confident that the guilty party is not reading my blog posts.) I'm just finding myself experiencing a little deja vu and the old injuries are starting to be painful again.

When I had finally had enough of the pain and betrayal the first time, I promised myself I would never permit anyone to make me feel like this again. The temptation in my current situation is to tuck tail, run, and leave the aggressor behind. At the moment, I think that's too easy of a solution though....and that's the outcome the jerk is hoping for! As much as I hate to accept it, I think this is one of those times where I simply have to stand my ground and let the chips fall where they may. In the end, truth will prevail and the manipulation will be seen for what it is. Besides, there are too many good things in my life now to let the actions of one thoughtless, hurtful person rain on my parade.

So I'm hitching up my pants, straightening my back, and digging in for the long haul. History may be repeating itself, but the difference this time is me. I'm choosing to respond in a different way and trusting that the outcome will ultimately be a good one for me.