In Search of My Story

While flipping through television channels recently, I saw a program featuring an interview with Josh Groban. While he is not my favorite singer by any means, I was looking for something musical, so I decided to take a look. That episode was the beginning of my current obsession with TLC's Who Do You Think You Are.

Who Do You Think You Are follows a new celebrity each week as they explore their family's genealogy. The stories they uncover are always fascinating and begin to provide answers to their questions. For most of my life, my brother has researched my family genealogy, but I must admit that I've never been interested in the stories. My new-found fascination with this television program has me wondering why.

I know very little about my grandparents. My maternal grandmother died when I was only 5; she was the grandmother that was adored by both of my siblings. Although I spent time at the home of my paternal grandparents, I never felt that I was permitted to know them intimately since I wasn't one of the "favored" grandchildren. So I never felt I really belonged.

I think a major reason that the family history has never interested me has been due to my feeling that all the information seems to be about the branches of the family tree rather than clearly defining our family roots. When I begin to hear stories about my parents' aunts, uncles, and distant relatives (third cousins, twice removed), I know it's interesting to them, but it's not really telling my story. I suppose that I'm mostly interested in the parent to child line -- the pedigree line. See, I'm more interested in going back in time to those men and women from whom I descended rather than connecting with distant relatives that don't share common experiences with me. I really hope that doesn't sound like I don't care about family connections; that's not the case at all. But third cousins, twice removed is really beginning to stretch the definition of "family" in my book.

I'm also realizing that I'm more interested in examining facts based on documents and primary sources rather than family anecdotes. Perhaps there won't be many of these records since (I think) most of my family were Arkansas farmers. Still, there must be records of land acquisition and other business transactions. The likelihood that all of my ancestors came from Arkansas seems highly improbable. Those are the stories that I want to know.....how did we come to be in this place and where did our family come from? Once I've established how we came to this....and even to this nation...then I may become more interested in the individual stories, but I don't want to allow myself to get bogged down in those details at this early stage of my research.

I don't know what I'll find...and I honestly don't know what I'm looking for...but I want to know more of my story. Those who went before me have made an impact on how I came to be at this place in this time and what my life has become. The researcher in me is ready to begin looking to see what I can discover. Who knows where it may lead?