The Year in Review

Now that we are in the final week of the year, I decided to take a look over my calendar for the past 12 months to review what happened. Memories both good and bad were brought to mind. I wanted to put my reflections here to share with you…..but more importantly, to have for my own future reflection.  Here's a small glimpse into my life in 2013.

January and February were busy with lots of rehearsals for Union University's Britten festival. In celebration of the composer's 100th birthday, the music department mounted a production of Noye's Fludde as well as a weekend festival featuring master classes and faculty performances. I did a lot of playing, we all survived the stomach plague that hit the campus during the opera's run, and I had my fill of Britten.

During March and April, I remained busy at Union. In addition to accompanying two big recitals -- one of which included Schumann's Liederkreis -- I participated in my first regional NATS competition. I've played for local NATS competitions over the years, but this was my first adventure into the larger competitions. It was in Bowling Green, Kentucky…..a nice college town. It was a lot of work, but it was great to get away from the craziness of Memphis for a few days.

The craziness of Memphis? Definitely! It was in April that I began seeing a counselor due to issues related to my work situation. The counseling led to a request for a sabbatical from my position at Abundant Grace Ministries in Collierville. To my great surprise (and an expression of the church's love), I was granted the full three months with salary.  The agreement was that I would continue to be active in a local church and decide about my future involvement with AGM while I was resting.

As May rolled around, I was wrapping up my responsibilities at Union and MSCC so I could fully enjoy my sabbatical and regain my emotional health. Earlier in the semester, I had agreed to accompany the spring concert for the choir at the Hutchinson School.  Little did I know that their director and my friend, Cindy Harrison, would be moving to Houston shortly afterward. It was a pleasure to get to work with Cindy one more time.

With a few weeks of vacation before beginning summer classes, I headed to Eureka Springs for a long weekend alone. I had no plans. I let no one know where I was going. I packed clothes, a journal, and my Bible. (As a confession, I also made a LONG drive to find a bookstore to pick up a copy of Dan Brown's book that was released that weekend.) I strolled through the old part of town for a few hours and checked out some local eateries. Mostly, I shut myself in my room where I read, meditated, prayed, and cried. It was a horrible weekend at the time; now I realize that it was the beginning of some much-needed healing.

My family had planned a summer vacation to Disney World. Plans changed (which always frustrates me…..but I'm trying to get better about that!) and we ended up spending a fun week in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Nine of the Freemans hit the town and we had a blast! My siblings both had rooms at one end of the Parkway while my parents and I had made reservations in the middle. It had been the first time in a very long time that we were all able to get together away from home and just enjoy each other without a lot of stress. It was long overdue!  (One of my next responsibilities is to give Mom and Dad some options to choose from for our next Freeman family adventure. Hope to have that taken care of by the end of the year!)

June was devoted to my sabbatical and my teenage nieces. During the summer months (when I was home), I was cared for spiritually by the wonderful people at West Memphis First Assembly of God. What a beautiful congregation! They asked very few questions, made no demands of me, but assured me that they were interceding for me as I made decisions about my future. Since I needed an outlet, the girls and I made weekly "date outings" together. We went to the movies as well as making trips to the zoo, miniature golfing, and bowling. So much fun!

July was one of the most eventful months of the year. After receiving a revised job description from the church, I submitted my resignation. It felt so fitting to receive an email from the pastor on July 4 that my resignation had been received and accepted. Independence Day has now taken on a brand new meaning for me.  There have been many reasons for my resignation floating around….I've heard that I suffered a nervous breakdown…..others told me I got mad because I wasn't making enough money. Neither of those are true. I resigned because I had been deeply hurt during fourteen years of ministry in various ways by people and situations.  It did not appear that things would ever be resolved. The hurt I was experiencing was being pressed down in order to be the "bigger person" while the work load constantly increased. When I finally came to feel that I had grown as far as I could in the position, I knew it was time to leave…..I wasn't enjoying my work, I hated attending church, and I didn't feel as though I was being effective or that my work was appreciated by the congregation.  (Note:  I don't say that any of those things were actually TRUE….they were simply what "I felt." I had to finally make decisions based on my well being. This resignation had been coming for nearly 3 years.)

During July, my mother's brother became very ill and began losing his battle with cancer. After several trips to visit Uncle Sam in a Jonesboro hospital, we attended the first of the summer's funerals for members of my family.  While we were sad, my parents and I had planned to visit family in Conroe, Texas that week as well. We left for a much needed time of rest the morning after the funeral.  Once we returned from Conroe, I received a call from Union asking if I would be willing to teach a class in the fall. This was nothing short of an answered prayer.

A new semester of classes began in August. Sadly, I had to dash out of my MSCC classroom on the first day of the semester in order to join my parents in central Arkansas for the funeral of my Aunt Catherine, my dad's sister-in-law. It was such a sad occasion, but there was a certain peace in knowing that this Godly woman had finally received her Heavenly reward.  By the end of the month, I began my new adventure in teaching class piano in Jackson, Tennessee. I had always grimaced at the thought of teaching the course, but it quickly became a class I enjoyed and that I think I teach well. I was learning on the fly since there was little direction for me……but that also made it a fun adventure for me and my students.

Since we had faced so much tragedy during the fall, Mom decided that September would be the perfect time to host a family reunion in Crawfordsville for her siblings. Although only one of her brothers was able to join us on that day, we still had a wonderful day of celebration as nearly 25 members of our family from around the state joined for hamburgers, hot dogs, and lots of memories. I'm hoping that we will plan another reunion for the fall.

The fall saw a lot of visits to the doctor with sinus infections as well as other maladies. By the end of September, my body had taken as much as it could handle. I began to experience pain in my left shoulder and upper chest. On a Thursday evening, my parents took me to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. Thankfully, all of my blood work and EKGs came back clear; it was later determined that a heavy year of piano playing and carrying music bags on my shoulder combined with stress had resulted in an injury to my neck muscles that was pulling into the chest cavity. I still struggle with the injury, but it is getting better with each passing week of rest.

The rest of the year was marked by performances and travel.  October and November had me very busy playing for 20 students at Union in addition to preparing for opera workshop and a student recital. I had the good fortune to travel to Malibu two times to see friends while preparing and presenting a private recital in the area.  For Thanksgiving, the geriatric patients and I went back to Conroe for another week with Jerry and Gail's gang. By the time December rolled around, I was ready for a break. Despite all of the icy roads that threatened to cancel finals, we managed to get all of the exams done and submit grades. For the first time in many years, I attended Bellevue's Singing Christmas Tree and participated in the Christmas Concert at Hope Baptist.

With all of the ups and downs of 2013, I still can look back and say that I have been tremendously blessed this year.  I look forward to what is ahead in 2014.