Frustrating Catch-22s

We've all been there before.  A situation arises in a relationship ("acquaintance" may be a better word choice) that has no good solution.  If you take an action, you will be called a tyrant.  Ignore the situation and you are labeled as a snob and uncaring.  These are the situations that are referred to as "damned if you do, damned if you don't" moments.  As much as we all hate them, these circumstances arise more often than we would like.

It is crucial that we understand that we cannot control another person's response to our actions or lack of actions.  The only thing we can alter is our motivation and responses to the situation.  If you believe that one action is significantly better and it is an issue that you feel passionately about, follow your heart and face the consequences.  Nothing is worse than keeping the peace in these situations and living with regret regarding your actions.  However, when the issue at hand is not something worth fighting for (it's just not that important), then by all means strive to keep the peace.

The sad fact of the matter is that once you find yourself in one of these horrible situations with a person,  they will often create another one before too much time passes.  Think about it.  If they get their way and "win", then it becomes a source of power for an individual.  If they didn't get their way, then anything you do becomes a contentious battle and is seen as a personal attack against them.

Not all Catch-22s are driven by an individual's ego though.  To me, these are the worst of these bad situations.  Sometimes there is no choice that is going to keep everyone from getting hurt.  A decision still has to be made.  In those times, it is important to choose the best option without allowing personal relationships to overly influence the decision-making process.

If you've ever dealt with any of these "no good solution" problems, you probably feel you have had more than your fair share of them.  I know that I feel that way.  Making tough decisions -- often with no clear solutions -- are signs of developing leadership and personal maturity.  Constantly judging someone's actions as a personal attack is a sign of childishness, immaturity, and insecurity in my opinion.

I'm thrilled that I've not been in one of these situations for a while and hope that the nastiness associated with these horrible choices stays away for a very long time.